Sorry this is a long post dealing with nothing financial
Once again my mother strikes. For those of you who have been following my blogs, you are aware of my relationship with my mother, that is not great at all.
For those of you who aren't aware, my mother is a woman who is a very angry and for the life of us, her kids and grand children we can't seem to figure out why.
A few years ago she told me to get the F out of her house because of a stupid disagreement over clothes I had left in a washing machine. We didn't speak for some time after that and I now pretty much still keep my distance.
Long story short she's just hateful.
Now fast forward, I still stay away and so does my nieces and nephews as well as my siblings with the exception of one, her favorite.
Almost a year and half ago, my sister moved in with my mother to try and save some money. I told her at the time that if I was her, I would make sure that I stick with the plan and save money, possibly looking for a full time job. Low and behold a few months after my sister moved in she started, my mother that is. My sister has called me crying about the same things I had issues with:
- Mom constantly complaining
-Mom begging for money , even though you pay her rent
- Mom not talking to you because you won't share what happened over at dad's when you visit him
- Mom yelling
As far as the money goes my mom has a nice little chunk of change, her house is paid for her car is paid for, and she has no credit card bills. She's the type of woman that if you have $3 you should give her $1
So my sister calls me today in tears because she attempted to talk to my mother to explain how mom makes her feel ( e.g low self- esteem, afraid to speak to her). Long story short ,
Mom told her what she old me a few years ago, right before she told me to get out and that was " as long a you live don't talk to me." Why she says those things I can't understand. Does she not realize that telling your kids those things are hurtful. Or does she not care?
I told my sister she could come here for a few days if she'd liked until things cooled off but if I was her, I'd make sure my ducks are in a row because knowing my mother it's just a matter of time before she tells her to get out.
I told my sister that maybe something happened to my mother as a kid and that's why she treats us, especially the girls, the way she does. Or maybe her mother treated her the way she treats us.
I was always afraid to have kids because I am afraid that I will treat them the way my mother treated us. I remember once I wrote a letter, I was about ten, talking about how my mother treated and talked to us, how she treated my brother totally different and she found it. Rather than talking to me telling me she loved me, she beat me for writing the letter. I'll never forget that, I thought what type of woman does that? There was also a time I was about 6, she beat me for something, I can't remember but it could have been I didn't eat my dinner or something stupid like that. I remember after the beating/spanking taking a bunch of pills to go to sleep and praying that I not wake up. But obviously I did.
As I got older I still battle with depression, thoughts of suicide when feeling down. But I will say this, and that is I've gotten much better at controlling those thoughts, not allowing them to control
My mother strikes again
June 29th, 2014 at 08:36 pm
June 29th, 2014 at 10:33 pm 1404081188
June 30th, 2014 at 12:01 am 1404086467
Has your mom ever gotten counseling? Has anyone told her she needs too?
Very sad for all you and all your family.
June 30th, 2014 at 01:01 am 1404090085
June 30th, 2014 at 02:41 am 1404096072
And counseling, hmm I hate to say it but being black/ african American with an island heritage it's "how dare you mention counseling" very taboo. In the late 90s when I was really down, I actually did counseling and was given Prozac for a while, it helped.
I just spoke with my sister and she pretty much spent the day at my dad's, I can tell she did not want to go home. But she has made up her mind and has decided to start looking for a place.
June 30th, 2014 at 02:50 am 1404096634
June 30th, 2014 at 01:43 pm 1404135812
A lot of it is them not having the resources to help, given their generations. (& being too stubborn to get help in this day and age). Please take any help you can get (counseling and/or meds). Unfortunately, you can't force that on your mother. All you can do is take care of you.
June 30th, 2014 at 01:56 pm 1404136585
June 30th, 2014 at 04:48 pm 1404146881
July 2nd, 2014 at 09:27 pm 1404336449
July 5th, 2014 at 04:46 pm 1404578783