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He Who Laughs First, Laughs Last

December 22nd, 2017 at 02:41 am

A good friend called last night and he wanted to know how the wedding 👰🏾 planning was going.
I told him there isn't a wedding and he wanted to know why. I told him to ask my SO. So he did. The response that he (SO) gave him was student loans. Huh? I was furious.

You have just implied that you're not marrying me because I have student loan debt, are you #%* serious? As I'm listening to the conversation he continues to tell our friend that, "you can't go into a marriage with debt." Now I'm more furious because he failed to mention the fact that he has back child support, no money saved and is terrible with money 💰.

After calming down, I thought, you can't be upset. You're the one who told him to ask him. Secondly, you're the one who said, you did not want to enter a marriage with debt. But you're also the one who understands that the borrower is slave to the lender, you're also the one who has decided to make a change. So in the end, he's right, we're right, there won't be a wedding due to debt.

I'm not marrying a man who refuse to make changes, in his spending habits; who refuses to takeover a business from his momma because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. One who refuses to save or pay down his debt. One who doesn't share the same goals as I do.

That conversation reminded me that I'm doing the right thing. It's taking me a little longer but I'm doing what's right. I sat back down and revised my budget so that I'm throwing more at the debt. I reduced my fun and personal spending. CC3 should be paid off by the end of January and then it's on to CC4.

In addition, the family is planning a family vacation (cruise) over the summer. Hopefully; I'll be gone by then, but if not, he won't be able to go because 1) he would not have paid anything on his back child support to obtain his passport and 2) he won't have any money saved.

In other news, I got word that I should stop looking for a job because the crazy 😜 director will be gone the first week in January, once that happens I'm asking for more money. She deliberately low bald my raise (2%) and my current manager knows it.

Moral of the story, one cannot be upset about things that are true, simply work hard, make a few sacrifices, smile and remember that in the long run, you'll be living like no one else.

My goal, retire at 57 with no debt and money saved.

5 Responses to “He Who Laughs First, Laughs Last”

  1. creditcardfree Says:

    His response to the friend isn't surprising, as you figured out. He is in denial about his own situation, thus he cannot be blamed, nor can he make progress on a goal he doesn't see, or has chosen not to see.

  2. Amber Says:

    Exactly! He's such a Jones it drives me crazy. We had the Christmas party and every year he buys the liquor, mind you to the tune of almost $300, and every year he gives it away. I said to him, you do realize that if you did not give it away you would not have to scramble and buy for the next year right? One year he gave a bottle to a friend who doesn't drink because he liked the bottle. Showing off.

    The other day we went to a bowl (free tickets) game, and every one he sees he tells them we have season tickets. Mind you, I told him I wasn't buying the bowl tickets because I bought the season tickets, well he couldn't afford to purchase the tickets. What he fails to realize is that we don't have season tickets because every year I have purchased and put on a credit card 💳 that he never pays. Well this coming year I've socked away the funds to purchase one ticket, my ticket. I've told him over and over that the money is due by the 5th and that I need his half. On the 3rd l'll be purchasing my ticket and if he doesn't has his oh well. Just glad that I was able to cash flow.

    Over it, can't wait to get rid of these credit cards, sell the house and move.

  3. Out of the Dark Says:

    Although his focus is skewed and rather sad, yours is spot on! Stick to it, jettison negative encumbrances and hold close all you have learned.

  4. snafu Says:

    Amber, Have you reviewed the 'Forum' section of SA? The Administrator offered a link to 'Status.' It. appears to be free

    www.savingadvice.com/forums/personal-finance/86784-https-statusmoney-com.html .

    I wonder if you and other bloggers would find features of the program helpful to their particular circumstances.

  5. Amber Says:

    Thanks Snafu, I haven't been on the forums but will check it out

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