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Just a few

February 24th, 2012 at 02:14 pm

Just a few more items and I am done. Came home today and my mother being the lovely woman (scarcasim) she is had some of my things on my bed that was in the storage room.

But the funny thing is she only gave me my items that she doesn't use. For example, my craft stuff but she kept the crockpot.

I know two wrongs don't make a right but I was so pissed that the items that I knew she uses and I was going to leave, I loaded into my car. For example, my crockpot, the cooler. The other stuff I trashed.

I can't understand for the life of me what is wrong with her and unfortunately I recognize the signs in myself as well. There is this mean, selfish spirit and I pray I do not turn into that person she is.

It's one of the reasons I do not have kids, I don't want to be mean and hateful.

My BF said to me, when I was telling him about all this nonsense is that he realizes that my mother pushes people away. I thought hmmm, yes she does and because no one says anything she thinks it's okay, but it's hurtful

In the end, the end is almost here. For hers and my sake I hope both of us can move on without regrets.

4 Responses to “Just a few”

  1. baselle Says:

    Its not worth your time to figure your mom out. Its worth your time to figure YOU out. On your last sentence, the one that begins..."For hers and my sake...", forget the hers. She's not going to move on and your job is to make sure that its not going to matter (to you). I know you want to think of others, but really for MY sake I hope that I can move on without regrets.

    And I hope you can move on without regret also. Enjoy your new digs!

  2. Petunia 100 Says:

    I think that ugly actions stem from unhappiness. For whatever reason, your mother is bitter and angry as a result of being unhappy. She is the only person who can do anything about it.

    Remember, forgiveness is not for the benefit of the person you forgive, it is for YOUR benefit. Try to accept that she is emotionally unhealthy and behaves accordingly. Try to accept that it is not your fault. Forgive her, but distance yourself unless and until she is ready to treat you with the courtesy and respect you deserve. Move on with your life and love yourself.

  3. rob62521 Says:

    Having distance will help, but you must also come to grips with the fact you will never change her (I speak from experience here), but you are capable of making sure you do not end up like her. I agree with Petunia -- a lot of the bad things are because of unhappiness. There was no pleasing my mother, ever. I realize now that although she always found a reason to blame me, and did a lot of things that were power plays (like your mom's antics with your things), it wasn't my fault she was unhappy and bitter. It is good you are taking responsibility for yourself. I agree, forgive her and realize that only she can deal with her unhappiness, you are working to make sure you are not like her. I wish you the very best because there will be struggles and I'm sure she will try to guilt you into things since you left. Be confident you are doing the best thing.

  4. Amber Says:

    Thanks everyone. It got really ugly today because I put the trash out and I just said everything I was feeling and left.

    Your comments really mean a lot to me and I am going to to take notes and do as you guys have advised, and focus on me

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