Finally received my $50 back from a family friend. It was no sweat off my back because I knew he would pay me back, plus he's so good to my senior aunt who does not drive, that it didn't bother me. He actually left an additional $50 because he took so long to pay me back, I gave the extra money 💰 to my aunt. She's amazing.
I keep a buffer in my checking account but I'm going to take the $50 and apply it to CC4 💳 . The goal is to have this sucker paid off by the end of the month and meet my second quarter goal. New balance,$297.61 😄. I haven't used this card maybe in about two years and now, it will be gone! Yay!
Different note, my mother wants my sister out of the house. My mom, and you all have read my posts, is an angry woman. She's absolutely miserable. I felt so bad for my sister. We have a spare room here so I told her she could crash here. I pray that one day my mother's heart ❤️ will soften.
Viewing the 'Family/Friends' Category
Finally received my $50 back from a family friend. It was no sweat off my back because I knew he would pay me back, plus he's so good to my senior aunt who does not drive, that it didn't bother me. He actually left an additional $50 because he took so long to pay me back, I gave the extra money 💰 to my aunt. She's amazing.
I've played around with my budget so much for the upcoming period that I drove myself crazy.
I realize that I have become overly obsessed with my budget and paying off debt that I'm actually not eating. Usually when I'm stressed I don't eat, I didn't even realized that I'm stressed. I got on the scale and I'm down 10lbs. I'm glad I lost the weight but not how I did it. 🙄🤦🏾♀️
I finally wrapped up my budget, though I can't, well I opted not to, pay extra on these stupid student loans, I decided to sock it to CC4. The good news is, one I replenished what I spent on AAA service, and I will literally cut CC4 💳in half. Once I get a job closer to home, I can cut the AAA service to the lower plan.
Different news, SO came home complaining about his mother. She was able to pay him his pay check 💰 but didn't give him the money for all the things he bought to do the job.
Long story short, she waste money, doesn't manangement the books appropriately and he refuse to say anything to her because he might hurt her feelings. Me, I'm just over it. So I let him rant, while I thought 💭 about all the receipts he has and that I need to scan them to Receipt Hog 🐷 before the cut off date.
Finally when he's done, I just say, "what's the solution?" He says, " I don't know." I say, "well you've been dealing with this since I don't know how long and you need to come up with a solution." I start scanning the receipts and he says "I guess I'm scared." I say, "fear will always hold you back." I finished my scanning of receipts and walk out. I use to feel bad, but I'm over it and my goal to retire at 57 and to make my dad proud. I can't waste time telling a man to take the business from his mom before he falls flat on his face.
Tackling the debt was the best thing I could have done.
Just looked at my budget for the next budget period and realized I can put 20 to 25 percent of my income into savings and still pay a little extra on the CC. Though I'd love to do that, I'm going to throw it at CC4 to get it down to $400 or less. Then I'll add a little to the EF to bump me over the $1200 mark.
This is all after paying my tithes first. God has truly blessed me. My prayer is that I continue on this path with no looking 👀 back. One of these days I'm going to be that person, walking around handing out $100 bills during Christmas time.
When you're doing what you are suppose to, you not only pay bills on time, something I never had a problem with, but you're way ahead of schedule. I usually pay the BoA credit card 💳 with the last check of the month because it's not due until the 2nd or 3rd, but for some reason I paid it the last budget period. Lol. I couldn't believe I had done that, and to be honest I'm not sure why. Maybe God wanted me to see the fruits of my labor.
I'm so loving this.
Saturday I went into a beauty supply store, and casually mentioned I wouldn't mind working part time, the owner's son offered me a job. I was like wow! They know me, I frequent the location, but the problem is that I can only do two Saturdays and month and Sundays are out, God has been too good for me not to worship. I'm going to pray on it and see if something doesn't work itself out where I can take on the extra job. I can use the extra cash to pay down student loan debt 👩🏽🎓. That would be awesome.
I forgot to mention that the SO suggested that we go out for ice cream 🍦 St. Paddy's Day 🍀. We're doing this less tv 📺 thing. I was a little hesitant but thought why not? Long story short, ice cream 🍦 and a milkshake was $20 at Kilwins, yikes! I wanted to scream but kept my mouth shut 🤐 . For the last two weeks he's been doing pretty good. But I couldn't help but wonder why couldn't we add this $20 to the EF or debt? I need to stop focusing on finances so much and enjoy life, but not to the point that I'm back where I started. I find myself not wanting to spend the fun money 💰 that I budget 🤦🏾♀️.
Honestly; it was a nice outing. We people 👨👩👦👦watched, found a really cool bookstore 📚 , and a super cozy coffee ☕️ shop that just so happen to be having spoken words, so we sat in. All in all it was a great weekend.
I went ahead and paid $37 on CC4 knocking it below the $700 mark 😄. I'm so excited, that I'm trying to think of ways to actually have it paid off before May 1st.
My quarterly goal was to pay off one CC per quarter, I've already met my first quarter goal but it sure would be nice to make it two, in one quarter. I'm not going to stress too much about it because I'm already on track.
I also added an additional $38 to the EF bringing the total to $1174. This is awesome because I want to save at least a $100 a month, and I've beaten that goal for March already 😄. In addition; I'd budgeted $65 for the truck registration and it was actually $49 so I'll be adding the difference to the EF.
On a different note, I have cut out TV, the best thing I could have done. I find that by not watching tv 📺 I get to work on time, and there's more time in my day. Next on my list is social media. I have however; been listening to a new podcast, Jen Hemphill, I like her. She discusses finances and interviews an array of people.
Lastly, the SO and I just finished up our bible study 📖, I'm not sure what's happening but he's making some progress. I did end up asking how his week went with no spending and he said pretty good.
Edit to post. Just noticed that the funds for an item sold on Poshmark was now redeemable, $7.05, so I added this to my EF. I'm so excited. Things are trucking along. New balance $1,181.05
OMG, the SO had me to pay the cable bill. This is the first time that he has ever paid his share on time. I almost fell out of my chair 💺. I can't believe it. Is he really trying to get things in order? For his sake I hope so.
I know last week he had mentioned that he was doing a no Spend challenge. I didn't ask how things went, I'm just glad that he's trying.
Well I'm not going on the family 👨👩👧👦 trip, I knew I wouldn't be going but was putting the money up just in case. I realized that a laptop is more important not to mention paying down my debt than going on a trip ✈️ 🌴
I did some researched and found a refurbished HP laptop 💻 at Walmart for $139. So just two pay periods away and I should be able to purchase one, cash 💰. In the past, I've always put these items on a credit card 💳 and bought brand new. Well it feels so good to know that I can cash flow things and know that refurbished is just as good as new.
Though it's not a must that I buy the laptop 💻 and I probably won't, I've learned to wait three days before making a purchase and that is why I'm so happy.
On a different note, I created the sinking fund for Car insurance, car repairs, gifts and sorority stuff. But I've spent everything on car repairs. First brakes and next alignment, and tire rod. Now I have save up for a motor mount 🤦🏾♀️
Adulting is a termed used by those who are being responsible, I guess I finally made it lol.
Today I printed out a W4 at work and actually read through and made my adjustments. Rolls eyes 🙄
When I first started working, 30+ years ago I was told by an adult to always place zero on the document so that my tax refund would be nice. And so for years I did. Then I changed my withholding to two. But I sat down out of the blue and decided to read and follow the instructions for myself on the form and my actual withholdings should be three.
I'm so frustrated, not with anyone in particular but the fact that I was never taught about finances, not by parents, educators or mentors. I mean indirectly my parents always said to save and pay your bills, and I pay who I owe on time, but never taught about money.
I sit back and I reflect on the following
* taught myself how to balance a checkbook after always bouncing checks (early 20s)
* Mid 40s finally decided to review my allowances
* Paid off debt due to being frustrated but five years later back in debt, what did I learn?
On thing I was taught, and that was to do my own taxes. I've never paid anyone to do my taxes since I was 16. My economics teacher taught us how to complete a 1040EZ. I would go to the library pick up the documents and instructions for free. Now I use turbotax to complete my returns but I'm thinking of going back to good old pen and paper, it's free.
It's just amazing.
To change the subject we met up with some friends yesterday. They asked how the wedding planning was going, I said it's not going because the SO refuse to get on a budget and do right financially, and that he waste money. The SO said that I'm getting to be too cheap. They laughed but I didn't find anything funny.
So this couple goes on to tell us how they decided to put a $1000 away a month, I thought that's great, I'd love to do that. But then they go on to tell us that they purchased this new truck, Volvo, with all the bells and whistle and paid an extra $15k because they wanted the 2018 vs the 2017. Now mind you this truck starts at about $46k, I couldn't help but think I would love a new car but I don't know about spending that kind of money. They went on to tell us that they bought a condo, that's not rented in Vegas and it's only about $700 a month. I don't know a part of me was happy for them, jealous and then sad all at the same time. I couldn't help but wonder how much debt they must be in.
Well, my word for this year is gratitude. I have to remind myself that things (debt) do not make me happy. And though things may look great for others, and they may very well be, it's just not my season.
Things I'm grateful for, not in order of preference :
1. A roof over my head
2. Paid off car 🚗
3. Paid off 3 CC 💳
4. This group
5. Time spent with dad
6. Eyes finally open about my finances
8. My job
9. My health
10. Family and friends
11. God's grace and patience with me
12. No more depression, thoughts of suicide- haven't had this in a while, thank you Jesus
13. No more getting upset when things don't go my way. I'm not saying I'm not disappointed but I just don't dwell on it
Last night our city hosted a free reggae concert, so a few of us ladies got together and bought some things to snack on and headed out. I purchased dessert, half priced Valentine's Day sweets 🍭 🍰, and bought a bottle of wine 🍷 that I already had at home. I only spent $7.47
Long story short this was such a great event, and it was free. I realized that having fun doesn't mean spending a ton of money 💰 or any for that matter.
Even the SO thought it was great to attend, and wants to go to the next one 🤔 Hmmm
I spoke with the rep over at the graveyard and I can give up or transfer that plot to the SO, thank you Jesus!
Only bad news is that we can only make it on the weekends and she's out this Saturday, but I'll be there bright and early on the 27th. Unless he's off Friday, I am, we can go in then. Two years fighting with him to pay his bill on time and I finally just got the nerve to say enough.
Cable was back off yesterday, because once again he did not pay his share. When he comes home tonight, I'm calling the company to see if we can transfer the service to his name, that way I'll give him the money and what ever he does is on him. Literally the cable is off every three months.
I'm counting down the days when I can say, I no longer need a useless roommate. Court scheduled for next month.
The last few days was a no spend day. We went out for my birthday (today's my birthday) for lunch yesterday with coworkers and I spent $10. Not bad but I'm still upset about spending money, I'm always like, I could use that for debt. But oh well.
I'm off for the next three days, so no spending money for me and I'm excited. Not driving a hour each way to work will save me a ton in gas ⛽️ as well.
Now I'm just waiting on W2s and 1095s to file my taxes, any money received will go straight to CC4. Hopefully I'll have number three (3) paid off by mid-February.
Lastly I'm wrapping up, "Why I Need a Budget," it's okay but I'm just not overly excited about the book. I personally didn't like the fact that the author pushes his product, YNAB. One thing that's in the book that stands out for me is the mantra, "debt is not option." I'm going to plaster this all over the place, in my car, on the refrigerator, my wallet, my money envelopes, I want to be reminded that debt is no longer a option.
That's it in a nutshell
Murphy hit yet again.
After getting the brakes repaired, I realized my tooth is cracked. I'd eaten a piece of candy and thought it was that but no it's my tooth.
Then the SO and I went off to the basketball game Sunday. I'd told him weeks ago that I did not want to go, but he claimed that our friends purchased the tickets for him/us since they'd owed us a favor. I think deep down he really wanted to go.
Anyhow we go down to the game. Then we end up having dinner. I'd told him prior to leaving that I was not spending any money. Not for parking, anything. And I didn't.
So we are on our way home, he's driving and we stop for gas long story short, he hits another truck. Jumps out the car and guess what he has no license. I can't continue to live like this. The only good thing about this entire situation is that the driver of the other vehicle had no license either. Smh 🤦🏾♂️
He kept apologizing, and I'm like enough already. We have talked about this crap since August and I just can't believe you have not taken care of it. Not only that, you're calling your mother now to bill clients so that you can repair the car. Are you serious? Why not just take over the business from her? What pisses me off is that he's saying the other driver hit him, if that's the case why is bumper damaged and not the front end? Who knows. My disinter looked at the car and said that the other drive hit us but can't do a thing because he has no license.
Then we come home and the cable box is out, I think lightening struck it. Can't call the cable company because once again he has not paid his portion of the cable bill and normally they want their money before any repairs. Smh
Long story short I was able to log in And schedule a maintenance call. The technician came out and we're all set.
In the meantime I did buy a little $15 antenna it works pretty good. I'll return it though for one of the better ones that was out of stock. Once I do that, I'm cutting the cable. He can pay for it if he wants.
Fast forward I wanted to walk out of my job yesterday. That place is a joke! I realize that I never want to be in a position in that I do not want to leave, well can't leave a job. I took another look at my budget. Cut some things and tomorrow I should be able to add $379 back to my EF. I'm annoyed because that money should be going to CC3 to pay it off but I have to beef up the EF since I used the money for breaks. Hopefully I'll have the Sprint check soon, and that should put me back at $1,000.
I got the first estimate of my car $800, I'm thinking they'll reduce if I pay cash who knows. I'm going to try two other places and then put it in the shop. I'm almost certain that this will be an expense in that I occur, SO never has his share for crap. Though he did say he would and so he should, pay for it. I'm not holding my breath.
Next month we go to court, hopefully we can get this house sold and behind us. I can pay off debt and then buy a small one bedroom condo that I can pay off in a few years, rent and then move into a two bedroom villa or something
I did it, I used the buffer in the checking account and paid $112.67 on CC3 to knock the balance down below the $400 mark, new balance $399.00.
I'll admit I'm nervous about not having the buffer but, I want this card 💳 gone! Over $6,000 💵 in furniture purchased with no help, as promised, to pay for any of it. And now, today, it's just under $400. OMG! I thought I'd never pay this bill off, now it looks as though late January I can say goodbye and good riddance.
Next on the list, is to head over to the grave yard and remove my SO account from mine, I'll even eat the cost if there's one to get his name off. For about eight (8) months when we first purchased I paid, I finally had a breakdown and he started to pay but he's always late. I told him I was not going into the new year with this mess, his mess. I'll be lying 🤥 if I didn't say a part of me feel bad 😔, but it's the right thing to do, other wards, I'll begin to resent him. It's for this best, especially for the move.
Last night we were chatting and I'm not even sure about what and how the subject of money 💰 came up but it did. I said something to him along the lines of, " do you realize that if something was to happen to you, that I couldn't take care of you or me?" He then said, " I could do it." I said, "How? You have no money saved and you pay nothing on time." He then said, "wow talk about putting me down." I felt bad but thought 💭 , why? It's the truth. If he got hurt and couldn't work, there's no way I could take care of both of us. Hell when I wasn't working, I depleted my savings because he couldn't pay the household 🏡 bills by himself let alone my other bills.
It's a tough journey but I have to stay focus.
Instead of saying I want, I'm now saying I will retire at 57. Plus you all do a good job at not sugar coating things, and keeping me accountable.
Good riddance CC3 and plot!
Went to Walmart and picked up birthday gifts for my three great nephews at $15 each ($45 total).
I'm so excited because I never did anything like this before. I created a sinking fund for birthdays and Christmas gifts. I'd budgeted $25 per kid (4) and came in $30 under. What a great feeling. The SO couldn't believe that I was buying birthday gifts for the months of February, May, and October. I just think that this was great. I think I'll do this every year, buy the gifts after Christmas on sale. As far as Christmas, throughout out the year I'll buy marked down items and since I'm keeping tabs on my budget I shouldn't go over.
Different news, my brothr (not the one who is a jerk) went to deposit cash into my account to cover January's mortgage (I purchased his house in my name in 2012) and the bank said he could no longer do that, crazy. Apparently there's some new money laundering law 🙄🤦🏾♀️. Well thank goodness this was a separate savings account so I'll give them the ATM card.
I bought my SO a Michael Kors watch ⌚️ from the outlet mall for Christmas. To purchase the Michael Kors box 📦 to put the watch in, would have been an additional $6. I opted not to.
Now he wants to know if his watch ⌚️ was bootleg because it's not in a normal MK box. I tell him, I wasn't spending $6 on a box.
His face >>>> 😳
My face >>>🤦🏾♀️
I'm on a budget, he's lucky of if got anything. Lol
He kept saying wow, I kept laughing. This was the first time in months that we actually laughed together. Felt good, just hope it's also a teachable moment for him.
Checked the balance on CC3 and it was $729.16. The $29.16 annoyed me so I added this amount to the card 💳, new balance $700.
I'm hoping to get this card down to $600 before the new year, maybe even $500. My next two budget periods are very lean and I have a $300 buffer in my checking account. I know, but for me this gives me a peace of mind. I'm so afraid that if I don't keep a buffer I'm going to use the CCs 💳. I'm also afraid to cancel them. Once I hit the $3,000 mark in the EF and pay off a few more CCs 💳 I can say whew, close out the accounts and not keep the buffer.
The buffer is primarily because I live with the SO, and most of the time he doesn't have his share of the rent until the second or third, that drives me crazy because it's due on the first. I'll be the first to say, I'm no pro with money, but I've always been super good about paying my bills on time. I hate paying late, and any late fees associated with it.
One thing that I'm excited about is, this is the first time I ever created a sinking fund (saving for a want and need); and come January 3rd I'll be using the funds to purchase my season ticket, cash. Notice I said "my" and "ticket" meaning one ticket and with cash.
Normally, I'd purchase both mine and the SO tickets using a credit card, I'll tell him and he'll say, "I'll give it back to you." Months go by, no money and I've racked up the credit cards, I've done this three years in a row. I've shared and reminded him that his share is due by the 3rd. The thing about it is, if he has his share it will save me $30 . For six tickets it's $60 plus an additional $60 for the parking pass, total $120. If he buys his, the grand total then turns to $180, We would split this in half to $90. Either way I'm prepared. It's cheaper to buy the parking pass than paying upon arrival.
I can guarantee you, he won't have his money. I'll admit I'm a little nervous but this is a tough lesson he's going to have to learn. I cannot and will not keep footing the bill. I know him, when he learns that I only purchased the one ticket he'll say "wow" and think that I'm being selfish, not realizing that at the age of 45 soon to be 46, I'm teaching him a valuable lesson, as well as myself.
I cannot wait to get out of this hell of a relationship.
Today the SO gave me back the $400 💵 he owed me. Almost three months later 🙄. I told him on Friday I wanted the money before the new year.
He goes on to tell me that he had over $400 in Christmas bonuses from his clients that he let his mother keep. Then he tells me that he gave his two youngest daughters $250 each, mind you they are 16, for Christmas 🎄. I don't say a word, I just listen. Besides I got my money, so I can careless and am working on my 2018 planner.
Now he's talking about how he wanted to pay what he owed before the new year, I'm still in my leave me alone mode while I get ready for 2018 🙄. Then he hits me with the "I'm so broke right now." I'm like wth! You gave your mother, mind you who is running the business in the ground close to $500, plus your two teenage daughters a total of $500 for Christmas. And did I mention he gave one (daughter) an additional $50 bucks because she cleans the house, what! She lives there. Apparently he pays her every week to do so. Total $1050.
Now he's whining about not having any money, as if he wants me to feel sorry and say here you go. Sorry buddy, I'm utterly disgusted with you.
First of all, as I have said in the past, and I'm done talking, I was simply thinking 💭 the following:
1. Your license is suspended and you just provided $1,000 to family in Christmas gifts
2. You have a pass due balance, again on the cable, of $136, and you just gave out $1,000 in Christmas gifts
3. You just spent close to $500 on a house Christmas party and gave away almost $200 of liquor that you could have returned and did I mention the $1,000 in Christmas gifts?
4. You're off for an entire week and won't get a check, mind you, he barely gets one from the mother, rent is due and you just provided a $1,000 in Christmas gifts 🎁
I'd say your priorities are all screwed up. The new me, can careless. I have goals in that I'm trying to accomplish like one, getting out of debt; two buying a house; three retiring at 57 and four traveling in my retirement. Can't do that with a person whose priorities are all messed up. Who continues to live like the Jones, who doesn't respect me enough to know how important it is reach these goals.
As he talked I just listened and worked on my planner. His voice reminded me why it's so important to pay down this debt, sell the house and move.
Pushing forward and not looking back
Well this is the first year ever that I CASH 💰 flowed Christmas 🎄, huge accomplishment for me. I'm so excited that I can scream.
I finally got my money back ($400💰) from my SO, this will not happen again. Never lend money you want back. Needless to say, this will cover the Sorority dues. 🤦🏾♀️🙄. I know, long story on this one.
Other news, I really really wanted a Happy Planner for 2018 but decided to create my own. I found some stickers on sale at Michael's and a cool calendar. I think it's coming along
A good friend called last night and he wanted to know how the wedding 👰🏾 planning was going.
I told him there isn't a wedding and he wanted to know why. I told him to ask my SO. So he did. The response that he (SO) gave him was student loans. Huh? I was furious.
You have just implied that you're not marrying me because I have student loan debt, are you #%* serious? As I'm listening to the conversation he continues to tell our friend that, "you can't go into a marriage with debt." Now I'm more furious because he failed to mention the fact that he has back child support, no money saved and is terrible with money 💰.
After calming down, I thought, you can't be upset. You're the one who told him to ask him. Secondly, you're the one who said, you did not want to enter a marriage with debt. But you're also the one who understands that the borrower is slave to the lender, you're also the one who has decided to make a change. So in the end, he's right, we're right, there won't be a wedding due to debt.
I'm not marrying a man who refuse to make changes, in his spending habits; who refuses to takeover a business from his momma because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. One who refuses to save or pay down his debt. One who doesn't share the same goals as I do.
That conversation reminded me that I'm doing the right thing. It's taking me a little longer but I'm doing what's right. I sat back down and revised my budget so that I'm throwing more at the debt. I reduced my fun and personal spending. CC3 should be paid off by the end of January and then it's on to CC4.
In addition, the family is planning a family vacation (cruise) over the summer. Hopefully; I'll be gone by then, but if not, he won't be able to go because 1) he would not have paid anything on his back child support to obtain his passport and 2) he won't have any money saved.
In other news, I got word that I should stop looking for a job because the crazy 😜 director will be gone the first week in January, once that happens I'm asking for more money. She deliberately low bald my raise (2%) and my current manager knows it.
Moral of the story, one cannot be upset about things that are true, simply work hard, make a few sacrifices, smile and remember that in the long run, you'll be living like no one else.
My goal, retire at 57 with no debt and money saved.
Pulled the number 5 for the debt BINGO so I got this bill down to $736.18 😊
I was really hoping to get this CC paid off before the new year, it just looks like that's not going to happen.
Due to some mishap this past weekend, I really went over my budget for the holiday party we have. Poor planning, but I learned from it and moving on.
The SO scratched off $100 on a lottery ticket and gave me $50, I then cashed in my ibotta account, I think it was $26 and later realized I had $50 in my PayPal account. Overall if I was to include the money I received I may have went over budget by about $40. I'm still a little annoyed because this was to go on the debt, at least I didn't use any CCs
Though I have a nice chunk a change set aside, I really want to take what's in the EF and pay off CC3. The money that I have is not what I actually earned but was given to me. I'm just sick of debt.
My reason behind not doing so is that I want to do this on my own, I feel like if I take the easy route then I haven't learned my lesson. I want to know what's like to hustle and bustle, feel the pain and yet say I did it!
I asked the SO for my money ($400) he says, "I only have half and I like to give people their money the way they gave it to me." I'm like what! 😡. He goes out and buys Christmas decorations for his mother for $300. I don't know why but I just froze, I could not bring myself to say a word. If you'd taken the $300 and add half of what you owe me you'd would have cleared your debt. I'm like WTF (sorry).
I can and will say this, this relationship is over. I'm only hear until I pay off two CCs and/or if the house sells, which ever comes first.
My father use to say, "Americans will go with out paying their rent, light or water bill to ensure that their kids have a good Christmas." And though I was born here, and I love this country, I have witnessed first hand this rubbish. I may not saved in the past like I should, but I sure as heck paid my bills and whom ever I owed.
Dad always said, a best time to pay a man is when you have the money .
Moral of the story the story is do not lend money, you'll become frustrated when you witness foolish spending and the person owes you. Only give what you can afford.
Growing and learning process, but I surely see.
I couldn't wait until Sunday so I pulled next week's debt BINGO number and that number was 20. I applied this amount ($20) to CC3 and got the balance down to $999.26. The goal was to get this debt below $1000 before the end of the year. I'm so excited. My new goal is to be at $500 by the end of December, with a pay off in mind for January. I can't believe that I would have three CCs paid off by the end of January.
I hate I fell off and racked up CC2 the late part of this year but at least I got back on the tracks and am trucking along.
I noticed the SO seems to be really down. I don't push the issue any more about the budget and getting on track. He's paid out this week almost a $1,000 and and I think he is feeling the pinch. Today the rent is due, along with the electric, water and plot. I normally feel bad asking but it is what it is. I need the money to send off the payments. When I get home today, I'm simply going to ask him for the money so I can drop the checks in the mail, not my problem your mother is running a business and not paying you.
Update to this post.
Today was suppose to be a no spend day, the free blue Berry pancakes 🥞 were disgusting so I ended up spending $4.53 at the office cafeteria. Next I had a craving for a soda so that cost me $1.50. I added $6 to CC3 for the wasteful spending, new balance $993.26.
The SO came home with his share of the rent, electric ⚡️ and water 💦 bill. I was actually floored and was tempted to ask how he had pulled it off but opted against it. I ask and then there is a sob story making me feel guilty, I then say don't worry I got it until XYZ ,next thing I know I'm annoyed. I'll pass, give me your money and I'm done. I'll remind him that the plot bill is due (6th).
Fiancé insisted on purchasing new ornaments for the Christmas tree🎄. I'll admit I was excited and did not stay strong. I personally did not contribute to this purchase but I didn't stop it either. I feel so bad. Once he wakes up I'm going to ask him to take these items back, it's about $22 worth of tree decorations. I'll ask him to put the amount spent towards his baby step 1. We can always purchase after Christmas for much less. As Dave says, never pay full price.
The plan was to go to Home Depot, he needed something for his business. Then head to Wal*Mart to pick up lights for the tree. Wal*Mart had them for less than $3 while Home Depot was selling for $5.
While in Wal*Mart I saw the PJs I always get for the boys, that was $4.95 each. I had $14 and some change left in my gift envelope so I picked three up for my great nephews. Not bad Christmas gifts 🎁 . I also saw pogo stick for $15 and I thought these would be cool gifts but I didn't have any more money so I left them. The envelope system works.
While at the checkout I couldn't help but feel bad, I cashed out my items, while he rang up his. I was thinking this is wasteful spending. We have Christmas decorations already, why are we buying more? Just to change the theme, ridiculous.
I remembered the conversation we had just before we left as I stood in line. I had reminded him that he still owes me $200 on the CC2. He asked for what and I him it was for the hurricane supplies we bought. I can tell he was frustrated, he says "Oh yes, I remember let me get somethings taken care of, I have a lot on my plate." It hit me while we were checking out, spending money while we're both down is something that has to STOP 🛑. Both of us cannot be spenders, impulses buyers or those who use buying as a tool to "cover up" how we are feeling, it only adds to the problem. His problems is the past due bills and his mother not paying him.
Once we got home I put the items by the door as a reminder to take them back. I sat down at the table to add my $14.25 spent to my gift register, according to my register I should have $.05 left and that is what was in the envelope. However, when I checked my spread sheet I had over spent on gifts this budget period by $5. I can't figure out how. Looking at the tally in the spread sheet column for gifts, it looks right. Either way, if that is the case, I'm taking one of the PJs bought for next year for the fiancé back, and that $5 will go towards my snowball. Not sure how I went over or why the register not the spread sheet matches. Oh wait, I had money left from the previous month. Okay make sense now lol
Edited to add the conversation.
So he's up and I say I'd like to talk now about what we did last night. He's like what. I say, I think the money we spent last night should go towards his baby step 1. He shuts down and says, we'll talk about it later. This is a losing battle. His rationale is that I have a job today and I'll make $1300 that would be my baby step 1. I'm trying to get him to see the bigger picture. If you put $25 towards baby step 1 you only have $975 to go, right now you have $1,000 to go. Isn't it easier to come up with $975 than $1,000. He says I don't think like him, 🤦🏾♀️
I asked him if he wanted breakfast and he wanted to know if it was in my budget. Really? I'm officially done.
Second update to this post. I was so mad that I paid CC2 offthis morning. The thought of my checking account dropping below $900 dollars scares me but I did it. On to number three.
Sorry for the long post in advance.
So I'm at work and the fiancé calls, immediately I think, WTH does he want? I know if he's calling it's something. So I answer and he starts, "momma called crying, she doesn't have the money to pay the guys." I sit, I listen and I don't say a word. I let him go on explaining how once again she doesn't have the payroll for the guys, how he hates to see a woman cry.
Meanwhile I'm thinking a woman crying is the least of your worries. How can she call you on payday, after lunch to say she can't make payroll? Did she not know this on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday? Unbelievable, I'm so sick of this crap! I've told him time and time again to take over the business and let the accountant bill his clients. He's so adamant about not "hurting his momma's feelings." I mean get out of here! You won't be able to eat, if you don't hurt her feelings. He tells me he's short $240.
We hang up because there's colleagues in the office. I call back after everyone leaves, and low and behold I open my big mouth, and say I can lend it to you, just let me know. WTH was I thinking? Why? At some point he and his momma need to learn a hard lesson. He tells me he'll let me know. At 4:57 I get a text he needs $400. WTF happened to $240? Now I'm more pissed than ever. Then I'm asked what time will I get there? Um I'm not rushing due to both you and your mother's lack of motivation, responsibilities, and respect for others. I deliberately arrive a hour and a half later. I felt bad because his worker was there waiting.
I realized today, I cannot marry this man. Nice doesn't cut it. A good heart doesn't cut it. Things were fine until we decided to live together. He was always late with his share of the bills, sad thing is I didn't realize the reason being is because his mother won't pay him. It's stressful for me. Always bailing out. I do get my money back however it's annoying.
I have about $9K saved in an account at a credit union about 50 miles away. This is part of the money from dad. I deliberately left the funds there, never got a ATM card, just left it. I signed up for FPU because I wanted to learn how to live off of my earnings, manage my money and make better decisions. That money is for a true emergency, my own emergency not someone else's. I was hoping he would have been onboard with the FPU. I'm so glad I did not co-mingle my funds with him. You all were right, he needs to save his own $1,000 for his emergencies.
We're suppose to take holiday photos, I paid the deposit because he didn't have the money. I am texting the young woman to tell her we will be canceling, getting my money back and apply it to the CC2. Ridiculous!
So the young woman we're donating to. He asked me if we were giving away Thanksgiving meals this year. I say no because it's not in my budget, he tells me how he enjoys it and since we started we should continue. I reluctantly give in.
Long story short I figured we'd spend $20 each to get a total of $40 in food, low and behold I'm sure his mom didn't pay him so he won't have the money now I'm stuck. It's fine because it's for a good cause but I had $35 for an item I didn't purchase, and thought I could pay $15 on CC2, after posting here, a pay $20 towards the food. I guess it was just meant to be to spend the $35. Unbelievable!
So I'm not getting married, goal is to pay down CC debt so that I can find a place just for me. He's never going to change and his mom doesn't care how her not paying him impacts his relationship. Then again why should she? I mean, I'm always bailing them out.
Well woke up this morning and the tire is low. I'm not upset, just headed back to the tire company that I had purchased the tires from and that I have the warranty for.
Thankfully it appears to have been the valve that needed to be replaced. I ended up staying home and working in order to watch the tire. Thank goodness there's still air, and all looks well. When I spoke with my manager, he didn't seem too pleased but I was not going to drive 30 miles to get stuck.
I received the check of $587.09 from an old 401(k) I had. I know I should have rolled this over but the balance was low, I'd only contribute for four months. I've added the funds to baby step one to bring me to the $1000. Wrote my check of $58.70 for tithes and will put the difference of $76.72 to CC 2.
I readjusted the budget to start adding the money that would have been going to baby step 1 to tackle CC2. I needed a win other wards I was going to go crazy. This has been one heck of a process. It seems like when I didn't have a budget I paid my debt down quicker, I don't know.
I should have funds left in the envelopes, so I'll throw the change into the change jar, and keep the rest in its respective envelopes.
Today was a no spend day, yay! Plus I've saved on gas since I didn't have to drive 60 miles round trip.
Tonight is our first budget meeting I'll keep you all posted.
As a follow up to the above, I typed it out and never posted, so here's an update.
I realized that the actual amount I have left to pay on CC2 is $157.60 vs the $76+ , plus I'll be adding an extra $57+ on Wednesday, this will knock about $200 off the bill. I'm excited.
So the fiancé and I reviewed video 1 of FPU. He asked that we review the video again each week and discuss where we are until we've completed baby step 1 (jointly). I'm okay with that if it means that this will get him onboard. What he said tonight did make me feel good when he said, "it's not mine or your debt but ours. "
So here's the plan, save $1000 jointly. He's aware that it will be a struggle for me since I'm heading into baby step 2 but I'll contribute. We will review FPU video 1 until we've reached our goal of $1,000. He's committed to adding all extra income from landscaping to baby step one for both of us. We've agreed to complete the home work separately and then together. Our next meeting to review the homework is Thursday. I'm excited because I think together we can make some head way.
Now the tire 🤦🏾♀️🙄
Well it's low again, so tomorrow I'll be heading back to the tire store. Hopefully I'll get a new tire for free. I'm not sure what the warranty covers. If for anything at least, I have the cash to buy a new tire, if need be 🤦🏾♀️
Had the conversation with the fiancé, our budget nights will be on Mondays. We will start the financial peace university class over, at home.
The conversation wasn't an in depth one but at least it is an start. I explained that I really need for him to be onboard if we are going to make this work. We talked briefly about starting the pre-marital counseling class. Tomorrow will be the full conversation, without distractions, to discuss my long term goals are and what he'd like to do long term.
Not sure what's going on with the site, I keep getting logged out. I wish we had an app.
Now that I'm back on track with paying down my debt, I absolutely hate spending money.
I was asked by a friend to mentor a young lady they're attempting to adopt. They're a great family and if I had a kid and something happened to me I'd want them to raise my kid, so I agreed.
The problem isn't the mentoring it's the money I'm spending. I really can't afford it. I need to plan so that we are not spending that much money.
* Lunch $18.15
* Pedicures with tip $54
* Book store purchase $20.33
Well I can't include the bookstore purchase because, that was a local author's book that I'd promise to buy.
For me I can't afford $80 every two weeks so I need to look for some free activities.
Next week the museums here are free so we will go there, the city is starting movie nights that are also free, so we will start doing that kind of stuff. She's a tough kid because when you ask what she's interested in, her response was "nothing."
All in all, I do know it's for a good cause, so I'll just keep trucking along and try and find alternatives that are free. If you have any ideas please share.
Tomorrow is week 5 of Financial Peace University, I'm on track. I've completed my zero balance budget, debt snowball worksheet and read the material. I received the water and electric bill, I under budgeted by $6 but hey that's okay, next time around I'll just adjust.
Tonight, I'm meal planning. If I do this I'll stay with in my budget for food.
Hope all is well, I'm just checking in.
Regarding my dad's home, we are having a hard time providing my brother the notice, and unfortunately I don't know where he works to have him served. My attorney reached out to his attorney who informed him that he dropped my brother because he wanted him to do some unethical stuff. All I could do was laugh and then think and say how sad.
I think I know where but I'm just waiting on confirmation. Once I confirm I can provide my attorney the info to have him served at work. I hate to do it there but he's never home, or he's there and not answering.
Next I wanted to pay off my CC yesterday, the balance is $670. I can't because my fiancé don't have his portion of the bills (e.g rent, water) . Smh I have put the wedding off for two years because he has to prove to me that he's able to manage or will be taking the steps to get financially fit. In the mist of everything I found out that his mother hasn't been paying him and when she does she's short. He works for the family business. I've told him over and over that he needs to take over from his mother or he's going to find himself in one big mess. He's crazy about his mom and doesn't want to hurt her feelings. I'm thinking, your mom isn't too crazy about you, you live on your own, engaged and have bills to pay. Either way, there won't be a wedding if he doesn't get it together. We are suppose to start the pre marital counseling and I'm hoping this will help so that he can see it's okay to love mom but not be abused.
That's it in a nutshell
My fiancé's mother is back in the hospital. She has been diagnosed with congestive heart failure. No surprise there, but the family is surprised, they're all in denial.
After the death of both her husband and daughter, I've seen this woman go downhill. It's sad because I keep telling my fiancé to get her some therapy and he says she won't go. Depression is a serious matter, it allows all sorts of thoughts to enter ones mind. Sad thing is she hasn't been taking her prescriptions as prescribed that has put a strain on her heart.
I'm praying that she can get through this little patch of life she's stuck at.
On the financial side of things, I'm doing okay. This week I have not eaten out for lunch or breakfast, so I paid an extra $20 on CC2. Sunday I start the Dave Ramsey financial peace class so I'm excited about that.
I'm trucking along with the 52 week challenge, I'm at $603 with that.
No other financial news to report
So I recently got engaged 💍. I always said that I wouldn't marry my BF, he's worst than me when it comes to money. But this last year he has really stepped up. We haven't set a date because I want to make sure that we are both financially sound.
First thing on our list is to sign up for Dave Ramsey's financial peace university. The next class starts in June at the church. Can't wait.
After that we will do some spiritual counseling. Starting that in August.
Today we are meeting with an accountant to get his books in order. He's terrible at filing taxes. This is such a huge step for him. I'm super proud he decided to tackle this. I was so shock when I received the text to set up an appointment.
Next I've created a list of my debt and am tackling them one by one. The goal is to pay off three CCs this year. I'm tackling number two right now. Just $880 to go, yay!
We started a wedding fund, though we haven't set a date. I think it's great to start early. Right now we have $300 in less than a month. So as I say to him, if we can tackle the wedding fund we can tackle his taxes and my debt. It's our motivation. Honestly it feels good that we both want to enter into a marriage with no debt, and a peace of mind.
On another note, hopefully we can sell my dad's house soon and buy the villa we are renting. The attorney is moving a bit slow but I understand that patience is a virtue. What's cool about it, is that my fiancé ( wow it's strange saying that) is okay with purchasing the house in my name, leaving it to my two siblings who are not creating a problem, if something was to happen to me. We'll just set it up so that he lives in the villa until his passing. Our rational is that it's my dad's money so it should go to my siblings, since I have no children.
We decided that once we buy the villa, we can stay there or buy another place and rent the villa out. The place in that we purchase together will be left to his children, since I don't have any and the villa my family.
Oops I forgot, we are pricing venues for the wedding and my goodness weddings are expensive!
So that's it in a nutshell. I'll be sure to stop back by
Oops have you all heard any thing from Julie (Ima Saver)?
Well not much spending going on in my area.
Today I'm suppose to show the house, wish me luck. I'll be calling the cops to have them there as I show it. My attorney finally reached out to my brother's attorney, who was very nonchalant about the incident that occurred the week before last. My attorney seem to be very disgusted with him. Needless to say my brother's attorney appeared to have had a conversation with him regarding his harassing behavior because he stopped parking his car in a way that he blocks my entrance. Well I wouldn't say stopped completely. He parks his car now so that another car can't pull in but at least we can park on the other side. Smh
Some of you may know that my dad died last year. We were extremely close, anyone can tell you how close we were.
He left me charge of things. I was planning on moving into the home that he left for both my brother and I, and my brother has completely flipped. Basically dad changed the beneficiary on his accounts to me and told me to share it after all debt has been settled. I sat us all down and told everyone that's what I was going to do and my brother lost it. He says that the money is for him. Needless to say I decided to sell the house, split the money and send him on his way.
This is what happened yesterday when I went to show the house. I had to file a police incident.
Upon arriving to the home, my brother was outside on his bicycle riding, while his van, played loud music. I stayed in my car, at the neighbors, until the investor arrived.
Prior to the team exiting their vehicle, I walked up to their truck and explained to them that My brother maybe an issue. While doing so My brother continued to ride his bicycle in the road. As we approached the gate to enter the property, he got off his bicycle and approached the investor and his colleague and told them both that "they could not see the portion of the house that he reside in and that he had things in it and that he needed to clean up. " Mind you my attorney notified his attorney that we were showing the place.
At that point I informed the team that they may view the home and we walked off. While viewing from the outside of the home My brother informed them (investors) that "he was going to clean the property and have it ready for them." My brother has a number of items on the property in that are a code violation, that I will need to discuss further my attorney.
We entered the home, the investors viewed, and when I opened the door, to the middle room that leads to the second part of the house, things started falling, water was splashing as if the place was boobytrapped.
We then exited the home, and that is when my brother began recording us with a video camera and taking photos. I asked that he not do so without our permission and he continued. As we exit the yard he began to jump up and down, saying the following "Jah is King, fire fire fire, I'm going to burn you up, you're a bumbaclaud, fire fire fire, I'm going to catch you on fire, you let those white people tell you what to do, fire fire fire, I'm going to catch you on fire..." He continued to jump up and down yelling his explicit as the investor and his team got into their vehicle and left. At the same time I called my attorney so that he may hear the commotion and counsel me as to what our next step maybe so that this does not happen in the future.
Meanwhile a neighbor's friend who is leaving his home almost hit My brother with their truck because he is now in the road jumping up and down yelling that he is going to set me on fire.
I went to the police department who stated that they'll take note. This is the second time he has threaten to bring harm to me, once at my mother's home and again yesterday. Unfortunately, I did not have the incident at my mother's noted.
Keep me in prayer.
I've attached a few photos for you as well, he has been blocking the driveway of the home and
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