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In need of recommendations

September 24th, 2017 at 01:29 am

Now that I'm back on track with paying down my debt, I absolutely hate spending money.

I was asked by a friend to mentor a young lady they're attempting to adopt. They're a great family and if I had a kid and something happened to me I'd want them to raise my kid, so I agreed.

The problem isn't the mentoring it's the money I'm spending. I really can't afford it. I need to plan so that we are not spending that much money.

Today's spending:
* Lunch $18.15
* Pedicures with tip $54
* Book store purchase $20.33

Well I can't include the bookstore purchase because, that was a local author's book that I'd promise to buy.

For me I can't afford $80 every two weeks so I need to look for some free activities.

Next week the museums here are free so we will go there, the city is starting movie nights that are also free, so we will start doing that kind of stuff. She's a tough kid because when you ask what she's interested in, her response was "nothing."

All in all, I do know it's for a good cause, so I'll just keep trucking along and try and find alternatives that are free. If you have any ideas please share.

Tomorrow is week 5 of Financial Peace University, I'm on track. I've completed my zero balance budget, debt snowball worksheet and read the material. I received the water and electric bill, I under budgeted by $6 but hey that's okay, next time around I'll just adjust.

Tonight, I'm meal planning. If I do this I'll stay with in my budget for food.


July 1st, 2017 at 02:02 pm

Hi all,

Hope all is well, I'm just checking in.

Regarding my dad's home, we are having a hard time providing my brother the notice, and unfortunately I don't know where he works to have him served. My attorney reached out to his attorney who informed him that he dropped my brother because he wanted him to do some unethical stuff. All I could do was laugh and then think and say how sad.
I think I know where but I'm just waiting on confirmation. Once I confirm I can provide my attorney the info to have him served at work. I hate to do it there but he's never home, or he's there and not answering.

Next I wanted to pay off my CC yesterday, the balance is $670. I can't because my fiancé don't have his portion of the bills (e.g rent, water) . Smh I have put the wedding off for two years because he has to prove to me that he's able to manage or will be taking the steps to get financially fit. In the mist of everything I found out that his mother hasn't been paying him and when she does she's short. He works for the family business. I've told him over and over that he needs to take over from his mother or he's going to find himself in one big mess. He's crazy about his mom and doesn't want to hurt her feelings. I'm thinking, your mom isn't too crazy about you, you live on your own, engaged and have bills to pay. Either way, there won't be a wedding if he doesn't get it together. We are suppose to start the pre marital counseling and I'm hoping this will help so that he can see it's okay to love mom but not be abused.

That's it in a nutshell

Quick update

May 20th, 2017 at 10:01 am

My fiancé's mother is back in the hospital. She has been diagnosed with congestive heart failure. No surprise there, but the family is surprised, they're all in denial.

After the death of both her husband and daughter, I've seen this woman go downhill. It's sad because I keep telling my fiancé to get her some therapy and he says she won't go. Depression is a serious matter, it allows all sorts of thoughts to enter ones mind. Sad thing is she hasn't been taking her prescriptions as prescribed that has put a strain on her heart.

I'm praying that she can get through this little patch of life she's stuck at.

On the financial side of things, I'm doing okay. This week I have not eaten out for lunch or breakfast, so I paid an extra $20 on CC2. Sunday I start the Dave Ramsey financial peace class so I'm excited about that.

I'm trucking along with the 52 week challenge, I'm at $603 with that.

No other financial news to report

I'm engaged!

May 13th, 2017 at 01:10 pm

So I recently got engaged 💍. I always said that I wouldn't marry my BF, he's worst than me when it comes to money. But this last year he has really stepped up. We haven't set a date because I want to make sure that we are both financially sound.

First thing on our list is to sign up for Dave Ramsey's financial peace university. The next class starts in June at the church. Can't wait.

After that we will do some spiritual counseling. Starting that in August.

Today we are meeting with an accountant to get his books in order. He's terrible at filing taxes. This is such a huge step for him. I'm super proud he decided to tackle this. I was so shock when I received the text to set up an appointment.

Next I've created a list of my debt and am tackling them one by one. The goal is to pay off three CCs this year. I'm tackling number two right now. Just $880 to go, yay!

We started a wedding fund, though we haven't set a date. I think it's great to start early. Right now we have $300 in less than a month. So as I say to him, if we can tackle the wedding fund we can tackle his taxes and my debt. It's our motivation. Honestly it feels good that we both want to enter into a marriage with no debt, and a peace of mind.

On another note, hopefully we can sell my dad's house soon and buy the villa we are renting. The attorney is moving a bit slow but I understand that patience is a virtue. What's cool about it, is that my fiancé ( wow it's strange saying that) is okay with purchasing the house in my name, leaving it to my two siblings who are not creating a problem, if something was to happen to me. We'll just set it up so that he lives in the villa until his passing. Our rational is that it's my dad's money so it should go to my siblings, since I have no children.

We decided that once we buy the villa, we can stay there or buy another place and rent the villa out. The place in that we purchase together will be left to his children, since I don't have any and the villa my family.

Oops I forgot, we are pricing venues for the wedding and my goodness weddings are expensive!

So that's it in a nutshell. I'll be sure to stop back by

Oops have you all heard any thing from Julie (Ima Saver)?

Quick update

February 12th, 2017 at 11:15 am

Well not much spending going on in my area.

Today I'm suppose to show the house, wish me luck. I'll be calling the cops to have them there as I show it. My attorney finally reached out to my brother's attorney, who was very nonchalant about the incident that occurred the week before last. My attorney seem to be very disgusted with him. Needless to say my brother's attorney appeared to have had a conversation with him regarding his harassing behavior because he stopped parking his car in a way that he blocks my entrance. Well I wouldn't say stopped completely. He parks his car now so that another car can't pull in but at least we can park on the other side. Smh

Pray for me

February 3rd, 2017 at 11:32 am

Some of you may know that my dad died last year. We were extremely close, anyone can tell you how close we were.

He left me charge of things. I was planning on moving into the home that he left for both my brother and I, and my brother has completely flipped. Basically dad changed the beneficiary on his accounts to me and told me to share it after all debt has been settled. I sat us all down and told everyone that's what I was going to do and my brother lost it. He says that the money is for him. Needless to say I decided to sell the house, split the money and send him on his way.

This is what happened yesterday when I went to show the house. I had to file a police incident.

Upon arriving to the home, my brother was outside on his bicycle riding, while his van, played loud music. I stayed in my car, at the neighbors, until the investor arrived.

Prior to the team exiting their vehicle, I walked up to their truck and explained to them that My brother maybe an issue. While doing so My brother continued to ride his bicycle in the road. As we approached the gate to enter the property, he got off his bicycle and approached the investor and his colleague and told them both that "they could not see the portion of the house that he reside in and that he had things in it and that he needed to clean up. " Mind you my attorney notified his attorney that we were showing the place.

At that point I informed the team that they may view the home and we walked off. While viewing from the outside of the home My brother informed them (investors) that "he was going to clean the property and have it ready for them." My brother has a number of items on the property in that are a code violation, that I will need to discuss further my attorney.

We entered the home, the investors viewed, and when I opened the door, to the middle room that leads to the second part of the house, things started falling, water was splashing as if the place was boobytrapped.

We then exited the home, and that is when my brother began recording us with a video camera and taking photos. I asked that he not do so without our permission and he continued. As we exit the yard he began to jump up and down, saying the following "Jah is King, fire fire fire, I'm going to burn you up, you're a bumbaclaud, fire fire fire, I'm going to catch you on fire, you let those white people tell you what to do, fire fire fire, I'm going to catch you on fire..." He continued to jump up and down yelling his explicit as the investor and his team got into their vehicle and left. At the same time I called my attorney so that he may hear the commotion and counsel me as to what our next step maybe so that this does not happen in the future.

Meanwhile a neighbor's friend who is leaving his home almost hit My brother with their truck because he is now in the road jumping up and down yelling that he is going to set me on fire.

I went to the police department who stated that they'll take note. This is the second time he has threaten to bring harm to me, once at my mother's home and again yesterday. Unfortunately, I did not have the incident at my mother's noted.

Keep me in prayer.

I've attached a few photos for you as well, he has been blocking the driveway of the home and

Rambling Monday

January 24th, 2017 at 01:33 am

Rambling Mondays ugh!
So the boss sent home an employee who was really sick, we all could tell she was not happy to do so. She told the employee that she must use her PTO time, strange thing is this is an exempt employee.

My mother called earlier, and asked me to take care of at few things. I was a little busy and didn't get around to it. So when she called I explained I hadn't taken care of it and she hung up on me. I was furious but I'm just going to pray for her.

As I was leaving the office, it was very windy all I could think about was a joke my dad use to tell me about the wind. I miss him so much.

I forgot to mention that I've finally signed up for tennis lessons. I've always wanted to learn how to play and the high school is offering it for $47. This is for two hours, once a week for 8 weeks. Not bad, most places want $30-45 a hour.

Lastly today is my very first no spend day of the year, so I'm adding $2 to the CC.

That's it in a nutshell 🥜

Best time for a man to pay his bills

January 17th, 2017 at 12:10 pm

One thing my dad has always said and that was, " A best time for a man to pay his bills is when he has the money." Trust me when I tell you, this is a true statement. You may not have much afterwards but at least your bills are paid.

Got up this morning, said thank you to the Lord for letting me see another day. I forgot it was my birthday, until I got a few texts. So I'm adding being thankful for another birthday to my list.

I'm also thankful because I was able to pay my CC bill as soon as I got it (best time to pay a bill) . I checked my emails and there was a bill from HSBC. I'm really sick of these CC bills. Like Dave Ramsey says, they're like little bugs, flying around nagging you. I can't wait to get the bills down and out of my hair. I can say, I got my BoA CC down by almost $200 this month, this comes from $2-$7 here and there.

So long as I continue to do as my dad says and blog here, I should have most of my debt paid off by December.

All hell is about to break loose

January 4th, 2017 at 10:34 am

So all hell finally broke lose. I received a call from my brother's attorney yesterday, wanting to know what my intentions were regarding my father's property. First of all I thought it was weird given the fact that he represents my brother, who mind you is suing me, and I also have an attorney. He called having me on speaker, so I suspected that my brother was in his office. Needless to say I informed him to contact my attorney. What do I look like speaking with the man hired to sue me? Is this even legal?

Fast forward a hour later and I'm at my mom. My brother pulls up. My first intentions are to leave but I say no this is still your brother if he speaks at least say hello. He speaks, I say hello. I start getting my things together to leave and he starts up. Stating no one is telling him what's going on. Um duh you have council shouldn't he be speaking with you? Anyway he becomes irate, threaten me and leave. All while my mother is there not saying one word. Smh you would think she would say, this is your sister don't threaten her etc. the woman said nothing. Her and my brother are just alike, selfish and greedy. So long as they can get something out of it they won't say a word.

Long story short as PR of my father's estate I have taken possession of the truck, that my brother was told months ago to stop driving because he puts the estate as risk (e.g. Accident). Oh yeah and he parks it in such a way that I cannot come on the property. I'll be reaching out to my attorney to see if there is a way for me to take possession of the house to get it ready for sell. I'm done being nice. My mother is worried that at 57 he will have no where to live but mind you this is the same woman who told me to get the F out of her house because I left laundry in the washing machine, and I had nowhere to go. The same woman who just told my sister to get out, with nowhere to go and to our knowledge no one knows exactly why. The same woman who stop speaking to her other son because he told her you need to tell my oldest brother that he is wrong. And she's worried about a 57 year who goes to work every day has no car payment, no mortgage, no CC payments and have lived rent free for over ten years? Her excuse, he won't have anywhere to put his things. He's a hoarder. Smh

No sodas

January 3rd, 2017 at 03:16 am

Today was a good day, no sodas. I had given them up for some time, but then boom I started again. I decided to pay myself $2 for every time I don't have a soda. I think by doing so it will encourage me to drink more water 💦

On a different note 📝 , I only spent $27 dollars today filling up my car, and a $100 on the cable, my fingers are crossed that tomorrow is a no spend day. I have to figure out how to get this cable bill down. I'm really considering a fire stick.

Lastly, my mom finally did it, she told my sister to get out. I can't figure out for the life of me why she is so hateful. My sister cause no trouble, she goes to work, church and home. My mother is up in age and not doing well. We all have said it, she's going to find herself in that house alone.

Rest in peace Dad

April 28th, 2016 at 08:59 pm

Dad past away on Monday, April 25th at 3:50 am. He's at peace now.

Is it okay to dislike your mother?

April 4th, 2016 at 03:27 am

I've been on a little hiatus planning an up coming brunch for this coming Saturday.

When I was in 12th grade, day dreaming, a thought popped into my head that when I started doing a little better for myself that I would reward another woman the opportunity to continue her education. So I decided to have s brunch. Ticket sales would cover the brunch and scholarship.

So last year I decided to just do it and it's coming true Saturday. I broke even, didn't make any money out of it and I'm happy with that, I just wanted to give back.

Now here is the disappointing thing. As you all know my mom and I have had a very rough relationship. Needless to say I ask her to purchase a ticket and she agreed. I also asked her to ask her friends and she tells me know. At first I was upset and then that quickly turned to anger. Reason being, when her friends kids are selling anything she's happy and assist with the sale. However, when it's her own children she refuses. This occurred a few months ago.

Fast forward today I swing by because my sister is making a donation. My BF ask my mother if she's attending, her response is no. I figured that much. But what gets me and what was most hurtful was she turns to me and say, "why would you even want to do something like that?" I don't respond and my boy friend jumps in and says, oh it's a great thing, too bad other people aren't as giving. Why is/was it so hard for her to say congratulations, I'm happy for you, or hope everything goes well.

I can't understand for the life of me why this woman is always so negative, hurtful and non-supportive of her own children. I would have felt better if she had kept her mouth shut.

My sister told me today, that the photos that she had taken for our mother's 75th birthday, and mind you hiring a photographer isn't cheap, my mom gave her back the photos. I'm thinking, wouldn't you want those memories? She simply went into my sister's room and placed them in the bed.

The woman is so hateful and bitter. I pray that God allows me to forgive her, but for some reason and I'm sorry I can't stand the woman. As soon as I think, okay she's coming around she does something else. I try so hard to try and have a relationship with her but honestly it pains me, I'd rather not be bothered. The only thing is, I often think what if something happened to her, and I didn't try to build a better relationship.

She tells my BF she loves him, but never has said it to me, Christmas rolls around she buys others children gifts and not even a card for me. The last time she ever bought a Christmas gift for me I was in 6th grade. I'm 42 now.

I'm sorry I just needed share, please keep me in prayer.


January 28th, 2016 at 02:38 am

So I go to dad's and he has a ton of ones for me, $44 worth. Apparently he hates ones and throws them to the side. So today he decided to give them to me, I told him yes, I'll take that, thank you very much.

Added $44 to my $20/52 week challenge, new balance $1,968.26
Friday is payday and I'll be adding week 49 ($49) deposit, and that my dear will put me at $2,000 before February. I'm so excited. I'm hoing to hit 5k by June.

Am I insensitive?

January 23rd, 2016 at 07:20 pm

So we had a break in, 80% of my items were stolen and the BF is moping. Now I'm upset that the house was broken into but I'm also thankful that much more wasn't taken or damaged. It's like get over it.

My BF on the other hand has been in the dumps all night and day. He can't sleep, keeps walking up and down the street for the canister that the thief stole that belonged to his dad. I understand that the can belonged to his dad, but I'm just like really? The world is not going to stop now. It was a Heineken can, I'm just thankful that the jerk didn't damage the photos. I'm also thankful that no one was hurt during this break in. I really just want to order another one. The can itself is about $20, and yes I understand that it belonged to your dad, but good grief. I'm missing a $1500 bracelet plus two karat diamond earrings.

I'm sorry I know death is hard, we know it's unavoidable but his dad has been dead four years and we're still dealing with mourning. Next month it's his birthday and I'll have to tip toe around feelings all month.
I'm sorry

What a week

June 18th, 2015 at 01:11 am

Busy week.

Mom fell out of the bed and is wearing a neck brace, doctor thinks it's vertigo. She's doing better

Caught dad with the neighborhood prostitute. I was so shocked I couldn't say one word. I'll have to share the story later.

Had an interview, the job is perfect except for drive that is about 45 minutes away from my house without traffic. The company is currently five minutes away but will be moving. I have another interview Monday with a different company, I'll see how that goes. This one is about 20 -30 minutes.

I added $70 to my 52 week/$20 challenge, new total $1934. I'm so excited, it looks as though I may hit the 2k mark before the end of the month. I'm really trying, fingers crossed.

Got CC3 down to $263.50. Next week I'll be paying an extra $70 on this card so that will put me under the $200 mark. I was hoping to have it paid off by the end of the month but it looks like that won't happen until mid July. Better late than never.

Other than that, that's it in a nutshell. I weigh in tomorrow for Weight Watchers, I sort of fell off the wagon but I haven't used any extra points hopefully I've lost a little.

Down 4lbs

June 13th, 2015 at 04:32 pm

Weighed in at my Weight Watchers meeting, and I'm down 4lbs 😃
Because I'm down four pounds I added $2 to my 52 Week/$20 Challenge fund and $2 to my CC debt (4lb = $4). I'm super excited.

Yesterday marked 6 years that I've been with the BF, we decided not to spend any money on gifts and just go out for dinner. Made sense to me.

Honestly on a different note, I am thinking about taking the money out of my challenge fund ($283.50) to pay off CC3. I'm ready to start tackling CC4, I think I'm getting impatient. It's funny until I started my debt snowball the debt bothered me but not like now. It's like I'm on a high, and I'm trying to reach the euphoria, that feeling you get when you're debt free. 😃

BF Sister in the Hospital

May 12th, 2015 at 03:22 am

So my BF sister was rushed to the hospital today. What concerns me is that according to my BF, the doctor who saw his sister today informed them that since 2010 she has had kidney issues( after reviewing her chart). This was a shock to the family because apparently no one knew, not even the patient.

The reason why I find this to be strange is that his sister is a diabetic, has had two heart attacks, heart surgery,and her feet is constantly swollen. Now given all of this, she has been to the hospital on multiple occasions but the boyfriend tends to believe that out of all the doctors, specialists, therapist, and nurses in the last 5 years that no one has ever mentioned to her to see a nephrologist. I just can't imagine, can you imagine the possible lawsuit? You're trying to tell me that her primary care doctor, cardiologist, endocrinologist, nurses, therapist, the hospital over a five year period missed the fact that she may have kidney issues. I beg to differ.
I'm no doctor but I know that swelling in diabetic patients can lead to kidney failure and no one seems to believe that she was ever told. Interesting.

Not much I can say, they're very sensitive. I'll just keep my thoughts to myself and say a prayer that things turn out okay.

Back to normal

April 28th, 2015 at 10:31 am

Looks like the BF is back to normal. For the last few months, he's not been up to date with his bills, now it's back to normal.

First, he was responsible for paying the gym bill. Every month I have ask for the money and he's always late. So I cancelled his membership.

Next, rent is due on the first and he never has his portion until about the 2nd or 3rd.

Well this is what got me all frustrated. I come home last night and he says to me I have to buy X plane ticket. This is his daughter who is off in college (community) in Kentucky. I say okay. He then starts complaining that the prices are going up, I say wait until late Tuesday to see if they go down. He begins to tell me that "I'm not listening that he needs to buy these tickets. " So I'm like well call her mother so that you all can go half, or better yet tell her to get a job (the daughter).
Then it dawned on me, he wants me to buy the ticket. No sir will I spend money on a ticket. You knew in January she was coming home in May, start saving for it.
Rent is due, I'm buying my money order tonight, we go to the Derby and the $400 I set aside for this trip is for that. I'm footing the bill because I'm the one who wants to go. I paid the airfare, set money aside for the hotel, car and spending. I just paid off two CCs and will not add anything to any of them.

I wouldn't have a problem doing if if he paid bills on time.

Bad news

April 23rd, 2015 at 10:42 am

Yesterday was a whirlwind of a kind of day.

First a colleague, and now friend of mine, informed me that her nephew attempted to molest her daughter. Thank God she has a great relationship with her daughter who told her. I never felt comfortable telling my mother. Not to mention her sister stood be behind her with calling the authorities.

Next, I had the not so good interview and then finally late last night, my sister calls to tell me that my uncle's long time girlfriend passed away. She had multiple forms of cancer, breast, stomach, throat.

So that was what my day looked like, I pray today is a better one.

Gym Membership Canceled

April 18th, 2015 at 10:15 pm

Last year the BF and I joined the gym. I knew it was going to be an issue when I provided my checking account number. During that time I had a hard time saying no, now thank goodness I don't.

Long story short, there were months when I got stuck paying the bill. The BF has gotten better when it comes to the bills but it still drives me crazy. Why? I tell him the bill is due and I won't get his portion until weeks later. Therefore I am always stuck paying.

Well last night I reminded him as I always do that the bill was due. His response was "he didn't have any money and that he wasn't worried about a bill but how he was going to get his daughter home from college (buying her plane ticket)." Well needless to say that comment ticked me off. So again, I say to him today that we need to put the bill in his name and he decides to blow up and yells "cancel it!" Well it's cancelled and it feels good.

It ticks me off because this is a bill that is due monthly, and you should be budgeting for it.

Just touching bases

August 11th, 2014 at 10:50 pm

OMG! I've been super busy with the new job, that I haven't kept up with my blog.

For the most part, I've been following through with adding funds to the EF, and IRA accounts. As well as paying extra on the CC.

I removed the Target Visa from my wallet. I notice that even though I charge items, then pay the charge right after it's just no worth it. Sometimes I just can't make the payment right then. Sometimes the store is too busy and I don't have time to go to the service desk to make a payment. Not to mention, Target only allows two payments a week. Not worth the 5% saving if I can't make the payment right away.

Dad gave me $20 last week so I added that to my challenge.

Lastly, three things I'm thankful for:
• Finding a church
• Getting a massage ( I have terrible low back pain)
• getting my finances order

A Extra $40

August 2nd, 2014 at 08:56 pm

Stop by my mom's because my sister said she wasn't feeling well, and out of the blue she gave me $40. I was both thankful and surprised.

As far as her health, she's dehydrated and was told to drink plenty fluids. My neice, who is a nurse, said she'll go by later and check on her. I didn't stay long, because mom and I don't have the best of the best relationship.

Since it was tax free weekend on clothing and school supplies, I was going to take the extra $40 and buy me something, but the saver in me said add that money to my $20 House Challenge and so I did. Smile

Glad I'm back to saving

A Extra $40

August 2nd, 2014 at 08:56 pm

Stop by my mom's because my sister said she wasn't feeling well, and out of the blue she gave me $40. I was both thankful and surprised.

As far as her health, she's dehydrated and was told to drink plenty fluids. My neice, who is a nurse, said she'll go by later and check on her. I didn't stay long, because mom and I don't have the best of the best relationship.

Since it was tax free weekend on clothing and school supplies, I was going to take the extra $40 and buy me something, but the saver in me said add that money to my $20 House Challenge and so I did. Smile

Glad I'm back to saving

Three reasons why I'm thankful

July 25th, 2014 at 02:00 am

1. Spoke with my aunt today, I met her for the first time two weeks ago. It feels really great getting to know my dad's side of the family

2. This is always on my list, spending time with my dad. As he battles with early stages of dementia for me it's just great having him in my life

3. A wonderful job. I found myself getting a little overwhelm but I took a break and got things back together, all while managing to stay positive

I know I said three things but I wanted to add one more

4. Having my portion of the rent money. It's been about eight months since I've been able to contribute but it feels good to be able to get the ball back rolling with things

What's happening today

July 16th, 2014 at 11:09 pm

Great day today. My new manager is attempting to teach me everything benefits so that I can be the next benefits administrator. I'm a little nervous and excited at the same time.

While in grad school benefits/compensation wasn't my favorite subject, even when I was studying for my PHR, I hated it. But when I say for the exam, I did very well, so go figure.

I'm hoping to be with this organization for the next five years, they're growing and I'm learning.

Today was a good day as far as spending goes. I had breakfast at home, packed my lunch, and dinner is made, so I'm add $6 to my challenge/emergency fund.

I almost forgot, my BF who held the fort down while I was unemployed for eight months, had the nerve to ask me to finance a $8,000 lawn mower. My answer was NO!

Lastly, three things that I'm thankful for:
• My friends here on Saving Advice. The support I receive here whether it's on my finances or my personal life means so much to me. I am truly thankful
• My car. Thank God I have reliable transportation without any car payments
• My BF mom is out of her coma and is responding

That's it in a nutshell

What's happening today

July 16th, 2014 at 11:09 pm

Great day today. My new manager is attempting to teach me everything benefits so that I can be the next benefits administrator. I'm a little nervous and excited at the same time.

While in grad school benefits/compensation wasn't my favorite subject, even when I was studying for my PHR, I hated it. But when I say for the exam, I did very well, so go figure.

I'm hoping to be with this organization for the next five years, they're growing and I'm learning.

Today was a good day as far as spending goes. I had breakfast at home, packed my lunch, and dinner is made, so I'm add $6 to my challenge/emergency fund.

I almost forgot, my BF who held the fort down while I was unemployed for eight months, had the nerve to ask me to finance a $8,000 lawn mower. My answer was NO!

Lastly, three things that I'm thankful for:
• My friends here on Saving Advice. The support I receive here whether it's on my finances or my personal life means so much to me. I am truly thankful
• My car. Thank God I have reliable transportation without any car payments
• My BF mom is out of her coma and is responding

That's it in a nutshell

I almost crumbled but...

July 16th, 2014 at 01:50 am

I try my hardest to stay clear of my mother. She always have a way of making me feel like, why was I ever born.

Long story short, last week I stopped by because she wasn't feeling well. I knew I didn't want to be there too long but when I got there she asked me to address some boxes. Honestly I was extremely tired. I just wanted to stop in and go but she had some tasks for me. I addressed the box, did the other task and left. Well today she called yelling and screaming that I wrote the address wrong and that the person who was to receive the items hadn't. I asked if she had double check the boxes, since she was there yelling at the time that I was writing out the address and she tells me no then hangs up. I'm like what the crap.

First of all I got off late, secondly you have a 101 items for me to do when I get there. I'm exhausted plus frustrated. As I'm completing your tasks, you're yelling about something else. And lastly we don't have a good relationship so the only thing on my mind is getting out of there. I'd say I was bound to make a mistake. Ugh. The thing that bothers me most is she only called to tell me what I did wrong and then hangs up.

On a different note I deposited $4 to my $20 challenge because I had breakfast at home and packed my lunch. I also transferred $5 to the EF account because I went to Boston Market and picked up sides for dinner and had a cheese burger after work.

I forgot to add the $2 I saved today for using my coupons, I'll do that tomorrow.

On a different note, here are my three things that I'm thankful for:
• Another day that God has allowed me to see
• being able to push my mother's words and actions about the mailing address off to the side. I almost cried/crumbled but I looked at the positive, she won't ask me to do it again Smile
• getting to bed before 11, whew

Today I'm thankful for...

July 13th, 2014 at 04:11 am

Three things that I'm thankful for:
• Meeting my dad's brother and sister, as well as my cousins. I'm 40 so this was great
• Spending another joyous day with my dad
• Being happy for a change

My mother strikes again

June 29th, 2014 at 08:36 pm

Sorry this is a long post dealing with nothing financial

Once again my mother strikes. For those of you who have been following my blogs, you are aware of my relationship with my mother, that is not great at all.

For those of you who aren't aware, my mother is a woman who is a very angry and for the life of us, her kids and grand children we can't seem to figure out why.

A few years ago she told me to get the F out of her house because of a stupid disagreement over clothes I had left in a washing machine. We didn't speak for some time after that and I now pretty much still keep my distance.

Long story short she's just hateful.

Now fast forward, I still stay away and so does my nieces and nephews as well as my siblings with the exception of one, her favorite.

Almost a year and half ago, my sister moved in with my mother to try and save some money. I told her at the time that if I was her, I would make sure that I stick with the plan and save money, possibly looking for a full time job. Low and behold a few months after my sister moved in she started, my mother that is. My sister has called me crying about the same things I had issues with:
- Mom constantly complaining
-Mom begging for money , even though you pay her rent
- Mom not talking to you because you won't share what happened over at dad's when you visit him
- Mom yelling

As far as the money goes my mom has a nice little chunk of change, her house is paid for her car is paid for, and she has no credit card bills. She's the type of woman that if you have $3 you should give her $1

So my sister calls me today in tears because she attempted to talk to my mother to explain how mom makes her feel ( e.g low self- esteem, afraid to speak to her). Long story short ,
Mom told her what she old me a few years ago, right before she told me to get out and that was " as long a you live don't talk to me." Why she says those things I can't understand. Does she not realize that telling your kids those things are hurtful. Or does she not care?

I told my sister she could come here for a few days if she'd liked until things cooled off but if I was her, I'd make sure my ducks are in a row because knowing my mother it's just a matter of time before she tells her to get out.

I told my sister that maybe something happened to my mother as a kid and that's why she treats us, especially the girls, the way she does. Or maybe her mother treated her the way she treats us.

I was always afraid to have kids because I am afraid that I will treat them the way my mother treated us. I remember once I wrote a letter, I was about ten, talking about how my mother treated and talked to us, how she treated my brother totally different and she found it. Rather than talking to me telling me she loved me, she beat me for writing the letter. I'll never forget that, I thought what type of woman does that? There was also a time I was about 6, she beat me for something, I can't remember but it could have been I didn't eat my dinner or something stupid like that. I remember after the beating/spanking taking a bunch of pills to go to sleep and praying that I not wake up. But obviously I did.

As I got older I still battle with depression, thoughts of suicide when feeling down. But I will say this, and that is I've gotten much better at controlling those thoughts, not allowing them to control

$20 Challenge

June 28th, 2014 at 03:13 pm

Glad to be back on track. Even though I haven't officially started the new job, I'm able to start back building my EF and make contributions to my challenge.

Dad gave me $40 today so I'm depositing that the my $20 challenge, within just two days I was able to deposit a total of $60

Dad told me something, that made a whole lot of sense. He said when he came to this country he was making about $1 and some change an hour but he managed to set aside $10 a week and that that $10 grew from $10 to $100, to a few thousands and so on. It makes me so proud to see a man who started out with little of nothing build so much wealth. A great retirement, rental properties and so forth. It can be done.

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