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Feeling Sad

July 4th, 2018 at 03:29 am

I’m a conservative, republic on paper. I believe in little to no government interference, I’m pro choice, pro gun and at one point, pro immigration, meaning send folks back. Border wall was and still is not an option for me. I also believe that church and state should be separate.

With that being said, honestly I am so afraid of what I’m seeing/witnessing in this country. The Republican Party that I once knew seems to be no longer. Our national debt has hit 26 trillion dollars for the first time. I’ve been trying to save, because I’m so afraid of what might happen.

The topic of immigration has been on every single newspaper cover and every station for months now, daily. Though my family traveled to this country over 50 years ago, “legally,” I felt as though everyone else should or send them back. I was born here.

Some where down the line over the last few months my heart has definitely softened. What if my dad hadn’t decided to come to the US, what would my life be like? He wanted a better life for his family, what’s wrong with that? Who wouldn’t risk their life for their children? I have no kids, and yet, I’d give up my life for my 5 year old nephew. It breaks my heart, to see people treated so badly, simply because they’re immigrants or thought to be. The comments on the news blogs are just outright disgusting

Being African American I’ve been turned down for promotions, paid less than my colleagues with less education and experience, followed while shopping, harassed by law enforcement because I look suspicious, asked deeming questions about being black, and you know what it hurts. It hurts really bad.

I read posts and people say, “get over it slavery ended years ago.” Well honestly it didn’t. Everything I listed I’ve been through and more is a part of the slavery mentality, away to oppress a group of people. I just can’t imagine what the Hispanic population must be feeling and experiencing right now.

I know that these blogs are about money but for some reason, I’m extremely sad today.

Independence Day is a day for us to celebrate our freedom and yet so many of us are still in bondage.

20 Responses to “Feeling Sad”

  1. CB in the City Says:

    I feel very sad about what is going on in the country today, too. It seems like blatant bigotry and racism are now considered okay -- American, even. The treatment of immigrants eats my heart out. I can't wait for this administration to go. Every second drags for me.

  2. Amber Says:

    CB I honestly don’t know what happened or when it happened. Today I’m just feeling extremely sad, I even have a little bit of anxiety

  3. creditcardfree Says:

    Honestly, I'd stop watching the news. They are simply feeding on fear to sell their advertisements. Get outside and talk to your neighbors and friends. MOST people are not as vile as the news makes you believe. We can't solve our nations problems by sitting in front of a television. We have to talk and find common ground. And both sides of the political aisle and all biased news programming are not even doing this. Immigrants should come here legally, we have a couple in our own extended family. Is there room for changing the laws so that it is easier or more streamlined for immigrants? Absolutely. Is Congress trying to make changes? I'm not sure, I honestly think that this is all for power play for the upcoming elections in November. Illegal border crossings have been going on for years. And part of our economy demands those workers...picking crops in Florida and California fields. So my point is it is complicated and has been an issue for decades. If you look at history you will see both political sides saying they will make changes, but they never do. Don't let their power play on a complicated issue get you down. This country has a lot going right, otherwise why would people be flocking here?!

  4. Butterscotch Says:

    I understand. I was a lifelong Republican, voting Bush 2x, McCain, Romney, and also in my local elections. But two years ago I ran from the Republican Party like it was a house on fire. I find so many of our country’s recent actions humilating and heartbreaking.
    I don’t turn off the TV or social media, although I do not engage in the overwhelming amount of hateful comments that people post. Instead, I get involved. I am helping campaign for candidates in my state’s upcoming elections. That helps me keep my spirits up and remain optimistic. It’s hard, I know.

  5. Wink Says:

    It's really heartbreaking, Amber, that you have, and still are experiencing such racism. Your feelings today are very real and valid. I agree wholeheartedly with Butterscotch about getting involved. It can help restore your faith in basic human decency.

  6. PatientSaver Says:

    I can understand how you feel, Amber. Sadly, racism is insidious and pops up when you least expect it. I really feel the POTUS is an enabler, making people who might otherwise keep their feelings to themselves now feel emboldened to spew their hateful beliefs and create a toxic atmosphere that threatens the cornerstone of our democracy.

    Turning off the TV may make you feel better, but I think it's the responsibility of every American to pay attention to what's happening and wield what little power they have, not only on Election Day, but by writing their elected representatives to make your voice heard, participating in rallies.

    The country is not headed in the right direction, but with concerted effort, we can vote the yo-yo out of office. Just 2 more years.

  7. Joe Says:

    Amber, America is still the greatest country in the world. All the problems you describe happen everywhere in the world. I have friends from Kenya, Cameroon, and India. All came here legally with nothing. All have worked hard, graduated from college and have great jobs - nurse practitioner, information technology, and engineer. India still has remnants of its caste society, where your life is determined by what caste you are born into. America is still the land of opportunity and most people are rooting for you!

  8. MonkeyMama Says:

    Totally agreed. I always despised the 2-party system (Remember thinking this when I was 18 and registering to vote), but never more than now. I am so sick of expressing an moderate opinion and then being called all sorts of names and lumped as an extremist of one political party or the other. There is no intelligent conversation when it's all name calling and 'us versus them'. (Which is probably driving me more crazy than ever, because I don't know if I know anyone who particularly voted along party lines).

    Oh, and some sick government official in my region wrote the most embarrassing and disgusting anti LGB article in a newspaper, over the weekend. He did it in a joking way, was written like a 5yo, and hinted that gay people should be extinguished. I saw it making the rounds on FB yesterday (due to outrage), which is at least something.

    ((HUGS))

  9. ceejay74 Says:

    I hear you, Amber. Thank you for softening your heart and for sharing your experiences.

  10. Dido Says:

    It's a sad time for our country with the "tone at the top" and thus reflected in the media on dividing us rather than on bringing us together. At this point, I feel like the two-party system is doing us more harm than good and money is playing an outsized role in politics. I'm a life-long Democrat with opinions ranging from moderately conservative to progressive depending on the issue, and the most informative things I've read recently about politics are two books (one I've read the book and the other just listened to an interview and added it to my "to read" list)--one called "Republican Like Me" by the former head of NPR (a lifelong liberal) who set himself a year-long project to expose himself to conservative enclaves and then James Fallows' "Our Towns," a similar project. When you bring people together and focus on the issues and solutions and damn the labels, we're often a lot more similar than dissimilar, but the politics of this country are just tearing us apart. Joining you in the sadness.

  11. LuckyRobin Says:

    I've given up worrying about the national debt. They will never fix it. It's so high now it's like it isn't even real money anymore. It's just big numbers on paper. All I can focus on is my own debt and then saving for my future.

    As for illegal immigrants, if we would allow them to legally work here with some kind of migrant worker ID card that let them easily come when work is available and go when it is not, if they had been vetted and approved, a lot of these problems would go away. They could renew it every few years like a driver's license and be vetted again to make sure they hadn't committed any crimes. They could deduct an amount to cover if their kids were in our schools and for basic medical care instead of SSI from their wages and just not let them have any other government assistance. It would solve a lot of the current problems.

    I think we would be better served having a larger border force patrolling, plus drones, for the border than a wall. It would put more Americans to work and keep out the criminal element and those who didn't pass the vetting process.

  12. LivingAlmostLarge Says:

    i like you am wondering about the US. Most recently a dear friend (DK1 "godfather" if we were religious) admitted that they are considering leaving. They are here legally. His wife has her citizenship now, she is originally from Pakistan. She was wearing her hijab and someone in a very liberal city started harassing her at the park and yelling at her to go back to where she came. To take her son and go back and telling her to take off her hijab. I am stunned. That the discourse has come to this.

    What is going on? What happened to respecting people? It seems that now people feel free to share their racist opinions no matter what and it's acceptable. I'm not entirely certain they shouldn't leave the US either. I worry that perhaps it's not safe for them anymore.

  13. Good Living Says:

    My wife is also AA, shares your experiences including the anxiety and we have also talked of leaving the country. I don't know what has happened to our country, it feels like a strange land. I'm heartbroken and despite my privilege, I worry about the people I care about who don't have the same privilege, who can't leave. My son says he doesn't want kids but I think some of that is because of what kind of world they would have. I don't even know how we can change this, yet I won't give up

  14. My English Castle Says:

    I've been thinking a lot about this post, and while I agree we can all get in news overload, I think democracy depends on an informed public. It's hard to keep you chin up, and honestly, I think fiscal conservatism is wielded as weapon when people oppose programs but abandoned when it serves their interests. I'm truly downhearted when I watch videos of people like the man yesterday yelling at the woman for wearing a Puerto Rican flag tee. I honestly don't know where all this hate came from. But we have to be the change and live the change we want. Stay strong, Amber.

  15. Tabs Says:

    I'm late to this, but as a normally moderate Republican, I am extremely upset with what the Republican party has been up to so far. I absolutely detest any dirty politics, broken promises, hypocrisy, lying, the ridiculous spins and narratives from the far right and Trump apologists.

    Now, don't get me wrong. I abhor dirty politics from any side-- Republican and Democrat alike-- but there is just an obscene amount of hubris coming from the GOP and Trump administration right now. It's ridiculous. And no, it is NOT OK. So NOT OK, they've completely lost me as a former Republican vote.

    However, I also try my very best not to talk about it because, well, this is a financial site, not a political one, and sadly, even if and when I do, typical mindset is already heavily entrenched one side or the other. Yes, I confess that includes my own.

    I am willing to listen to facts and rational discourses, but it seem that there is very little to be found in this particular administration.

    This madness is not OK in my book. It will never be OK. Come election time, I am going to vote with all that I have to try to take away power from the madness, and hopefully others will do the same.

  16. LivingAlmostLarge Says:

    Also CCF brings up a good point. I don't know what to think about illegal border crossing. Having lived over 10 years in San Diego I don't think there is an easy answer. Anyone whose lived on the border can tell you it's not what people think who doesn't live in a border town or state. Many people are your friends, they go to college, they do jobs that americans don't want. It's not black and white. I've friends in the 90s who were dreamers going to college. And even more who were born here after their parents illegally immigrated. So I've seen them working and going to school and wanting more. Some had no idea.

    I don't think anyone has an easy answer.

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