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Three reasons why I'm thankful

July 25th, 2014 at 02:00 am

1. Spoke with my aunt today, I met her for the first time two weeks ago. It feels really great getting to know my dad's side of the family

2. This is always on my list, spending time with my dad. As he battles with early stages of dementia for me it's just great having him in my life

3. A wonderful job. I found myself getting a little overwhelm but I took a break and got things back together, all while managing to stay positive

I know I said three things but I wanted to add one more

4. Having my portion of the rent money. It's been about eight months since I've been able to contribute but it feels good to be able to get the ball back rolling with things

What's happening today

July 16th, 2014 at 11:09 pm

Great day today. My new manager is attempting to teach me everything benefits so that I can be the next benefits administrator. I'm a little nervous and excited at the same time.

While in grad school benefits/compensation wasn't my favorite subject, even when I was studying for my PHR, I hated it. But when I say for the exam, I did very well, so go figure.

I'm hoping to be with this organization for the next five years, they're growing and I'm learning.

Today was a good day as far as spending goes. I had breakfast at home, packed my lunch, and dinner is made, so I'm add $6 to my challenge/emergency fund.

I almost forgot, my BF who held the fort down while I was unemployed for eight months, had the nerve to ask me to finance a $8,000 lawn mower. My answer was NO!

Lastly, three things that I'm thankful for:
• My friends here on Saving Advice. The support I receive here whether it's on my finances or my personal life means so much to me. I am truly thankful
• My car. Thank God I have reliable transportation without any car payments
• My BF mom is out of her coma and is responding

That's it in a nutshell

What's happening today

July 16th, 2014 at 11:09 pm

Great day today. My new manager is attempting to teach me everything benefits so that I can be the next benefits administrator. I'm a little nervous and excited at the same time.

While in grad school benefits/compensation wasn't my favorite subject, even when I was studying for my PHR, I hated it. But when I say for the exam, I did very well, so go figure.

I'm hoping to be with this organization for the next five years, they're growing and I'm learning.

Today was a good day as far as spending goes. I had breakfast at home, packed my lunch, and dinner is made, so I'm add $6 to my challenge/emergency fund.

I almost forgot, my BF who held the fort down while I was unemployed for eight months, had the nerve to ask me to finance a $8,000 lawn mower. My answer was NO!

Lastly, three things that I'm thankful for:
• My friends here on Saving Advice. The support I receive here whether it's on my finances or my personal life means so much to me. I am truly thankful
• My car. Thank God I have reliable transportation without any car payments
• My BF mom is out of her coma and is responding

That's it in a nutshell

I almost crumbled but...

July 16th, 2014 at 01:50 am

I try my hardest to stay clear of my mother. She always have a way of making me feel like, why was I ever born.

Long story short, last week I stopped by because she wasn't feeling well. I knew I didn't want to be there too long but when I got there she asked me to address some boxes. Honestly I was extremely tired. I just wanted to stop in and go but she had some tasks for me. I addressed the box, did the other task and left. Well today she called yelling and screaming that I wrote the address wrong and that the person who was to receive the items hadn't. I asked if she had double check the boxes, since she was there yelling at the time that I was writing out the address and she tells me no then hangs up. I'm like what the crap.

First of all I got off late, secondly you have a 101 items for me to do when I get there. I'm exhausted plus frustrated. As I'm completing your tasks, you're yelling about something else. And lastly we don't have a good relationship so the only thing on my mind is getting out of there. I'd say I was bound to make a mistake. Ugh. The thing that bothers me most is she only called to tell me what I did wrong and then hangs up.

On a different note I deposited $4 to my $20 challenge because I had breakfast at home and packed my lunch. I also transferred $5 to the EF account because I went to Boston Market and picked up sides for dinner and had a cheese burger after work.

I forgot to add the $2 I saved today for using my coupons, I'll do that tomorrow.

On a different note, here are my three things that I'm thankful for:
• Another day that God has allowed me to see
• being able to push my mother's words and actions about the mailing address off to the side. I almost cried/crumbled but I looked at the positive, she won't ask me to do it again Smile
• getting to bed before 11, whew

Today I'm thankful for...

July 13th, 2014 at 04:11 am

Three things that I'm thankful for:
• Meeting my dad's brother and sister, as well as my cousins. I'm 40 so this was great
• Spending another joyous day with my dad
• Being happy for a change

My mother strikes again

June 29th, 2014 at 08:36 pm

Sorry this is a long post dealing with nothing financial

Once again my mother strikes. For those of you who have been following my blogs, you are aware of my relationship with my mother, that is not great at all.

For those of you who aren't aware, my mother is a woman who is a very angry and for the life of us, her kids and grand children we can't seem to figure out why.

A few years ago she told me to get the F out of her house because of a stupid disagreement over clothes I had left in a washing machine. We didn't speak for some time after that and I now pretty much still keep my distance.

Long story short she's just hateful.

Now fast forward, I still stay away and so does my nieces and nephews as well as my siblings with the exception of one, her favorite.

Almost a year and half ago, my sister moved in with my mother to try and save some money. I told her at the time that if I was her, I would make sure that I stick with the plan and save money, possibly looking for a full time job. Low and behold a few months after my sister moved in she started, my mother that is. My sister has called me crying about the same things I had issues with:
- Mom constantly complaining
-Mom begging for money , even though you pay her rent
- Mom not talking to you because you won't share what happened over at dad's when you visit him
- Mom yelling

As far as the money goes my mom has a nice little chunk of change, her house is paid for her car is paid for, and she has no credit card bills. She's the type of woman that if you have $3 you should give her $1

So my sister calls me today in tears because she attempted to talk to my mother to explain how mom makes her feel ( e.g low self- esteem, afraid to speak to her). Long story short ,
Mom told her what she old me a few years ago, right before she told me to get out and that was " as long a you live don't talk to me." Why she says those things I can't understand. Does she not realize that telling your kids those things are hurtful. Or does she not care?

I told my sister she could come here for a few days if she'd liked until things cooled off but if I was her, I'd make sure my ducks are in a row because knowing my mother it's just a matter of time before she tells her to get out.

I told my sister that maybe something happened to my mother as a kid and that's why she treats us, especially the girls, the way she does. Or maybe her mother treated her the way she treats us.

I was always afraid to have kids because I am afraid that I will treat them the way my mother treated us. I remember once I wrote a letter, I was about ten, talking about how my mother treated and talked to us, how she treated my brother totally different and she found it. Rather than talking to me telling me she loved me, she beat me for writing the letter. I'll never forget that, I thought what type of woman does that? There was also a time I was about 6, she beat me for something, I can't remember but it could have been I didn't eat my dinner or something stupid like that. I remember after the beating/spanking taking a bunch of pills to go to sleep and praying that I not wake up. But obviously I did.

As I got older I still battle with depression, thoughts of suicide when feeling down. But I will say this, and that is I've gotten much better at controlling those thoughts, not allowing them to control

$20 Challenge

June 28th, 2014 at 03:13 pm

Glad to be back on track. Even though I haven't officially started the new job, I'm able to start back building my EF and make contributions to my challenge.

Dad gave me $40 today so I'm depositing that the my $20 challenge, within just two days I was able to deposit a total of $60

Dad told me something, that made a whole lot of sense. He said when he came to this country he was making about $1 and some change an hour but he managed to set aside $10 a week and that that $10 grew from $10 to $100, to a few thousands and so on. It makes me so proud to see a man who started out with little of nothing build so much wealth. A great retirement, rental properties and so forth. It can be done.

CC 5

September 4th, 2013 at 10:39 am

Paid off CC #5 today, super excited. I can't believe I went from debt to debt free back to debt and now working on becoming debt free again.

On a side note, went by my mom and my sister was there with her grandson, my great nephew. She moved back home. Anyhow I gave my nephew a dollar and my sister says to me, "don't give him any bills only coins because I use the bills given to him." I thought are you kidding me? The kid has a piggy bank, and you're taking the paper money out. I was so disgusted. Reminded me of the time she opened a bank account for us as kids and cleaned it out.
So I hid the piggy bank in my mom's room and told my nephew not to tell his grandma. Poor kid is only three so he might

Come on August

May 12th, 2013 at 07:19 pm

As you all know so much is happening in August:
- Graduatiom
-$20k pay increase
-Moving out

I am so excited because its a few months away but I do not know how much longer I can deal with the BF.

Every month he is short, I'm sick of walking on egg shells because every Christ thing reminds him of his dad. I'm sorry he lost his dad, but it doesn't mean that I should be tip toeing around feelings every day.

For example today is Mother's Day; I too have a mom (not the best relationship) but I'd like to run by her house and not spend hours at his mom's. Also, ripping the house apart at 11pm at night looking for a pair of shoes that you already have another pair exactly like but refuse to wear because you wore them to your dad's funeral and getting upset because I asked the question why not just wear those is absolutely ridiculous just like burying the $100.

I'm just simply trying to make sure that the CC debt I have is paid off as much as possible and my raise kicks in before I move


February 22nd, 2013 at 11:45 pm

Okay my BF who is always short on his portion of the bills ( and I have advised I'm moving) says to me the other day that his mom offered to pay his cell phone bill, since he is helping her with his dad's business. Well he told her he didn't need the help. I sort of understand because she is still grieving and he doesn't want to take advantage of her but he is running the business and need the money. I think once he gets situated he could stop taking the funds.

Now fast forward his mom cuts the payroll for the week and added an extra $100 with a note that said thank you. He said he attempted to speak to her and she started to cry so he didn't continue the conversation and kept the money.

Now here is the kicker, he owes as of the first over $1000, $475 of that is the balance forward from last month. But he decides that he is going to bury the $100 on his dad's grave. WTH! Are you serious? I'd rather he give the money back to his mom. I couldn't believe it. It took everything in me to keep my mouth shut. This is ridiculous especially when you're always short. I in so many words reminded him that he had a ton of bills due. This crazy

Just got the word...

February 13th, 2013 at 11:59 am

I just received the word that my friend lost her job yesterday. Apparently after three months she has not been grasping things. She admits that it was way too much and that the Agency took a chance hiring her with no experience. She said that they asked her if she wanted to finish out the month or the end of the week, I thought that was nice. She will finish out the week.

It saddens me when anyone loses their job, no matter what the reason. It really hurts.

After graduation

February 11th, 2013 at 12:03 pm

Well I have decided that after graduation, I'll be moving. The BF has way too many other obligations that I simply can not handle.

First of the month rolls around and he is short again. In the year that we have been living together he has only pulled his fair share twice. Don't get me wrong, he is super sweet but being financially responsible is not his forte.

For example, we decided early on for my birthday we were heading to Arkansas, I asked him what did he want to pay for? Either the hotel or car, he chose the car. The rental totaled $287 and of course I was stuck paying for the car and the hotel. Yes I wanted to go away and would have planned something else if he couldn't afford it, and I asked several times.

The cable bill is due and of course he does not have his half, but I paid mine and that's it. I can do with tv, the cable is in his name.

I've said to him time and time again that he needed to set a budget, keep track of his spending for one month that way he could see where his money is going. His money is going to the kids because he can't say no.

I know it's hard, I recognize that. I too am working on some financial mishaps but at least I'm trying and making progress mind you.

Oh well it's too bad. On a different note I have been keeping up with the 52 week challenge Smile I'm actually ahead of the game.
I've also been paying down CC 4, I got it down from 1500 to 1385 by simply paying $2 here and there for the month of January.

I'm still waiting to hear from my employer regarding the $800 tuition reimbursement that I submitted in December. It's either yes or no, why its taking so long? It's a long story I'll have to share later, but lets just say a little over a year ago I had to hire an attorney and I personally do not think the CEO has moved on. That sucks

Right now I have an extra $300 just sitting in my ING account and I'm debating on if I should use the money to pay down cc4. A part of me says yes another says wait and sock away a little more but in the meantime I'm earning little interest while paying a lot more on the CC

Trying to understand

January 6th, 2013 at 12:36 pm

I really think my BF and his family needs some bereavement counseling.

I know it's tough, but at some point life has to return to normalcy.
The mother can't be left alone because they all fear she is going to break down, personally I would think that would be a good thing being that she hasn't cried yet.

I've stop going to the house, because everyone is sitting there talking ever so often, with the tv on watching them, while playing with their tablet or smartphone. I find this very depressing.

He leaves here at 7 in the morning and is not back until almost midnight.

The funeral home is constantly sending something, because they are friends of the family but I find it creepy.

Just my thoughts and I'm aware that everyone handle things differently but ones life can't stop because someone else's did. You have to try to do things as if you normally would

Had the conversation

January 6th, 2013 at 03:28 am

Well I had the conversation with the BF and explained that all bills are due on the 1st therefore I need the money by the 25th of every month.

I told him he needed to get on a budget and for the first month or so it would be hard. I also gave him the total of what to expect each month and suggested he should put X amount of dollars away each week.

I can only make the suggestions but I'm sticking to my guns, this is a new year and I have a goal to meet, in addition I can't let him hold me back.

Glad we had the talk, we'll I did, he really didn't say much

On a different note, my sister called to borrow money. She hasn't did that in a while. I gave her the $20 that I've had in my purse for a week. The reason I said gave is because I'd be surprised if she paid me back. Don't lend money you can't afford to lose. Apparently she called my mom and she said no.

As you all know next month would have been a year that I have spoken to my mother and to be honest I'm somewhat okay with it. But lately she has been calling. Once for Christmas dinner and today for me to take care of some things. She has yet to apologize, and honestly I don't think we wil ever have a good relationship but at this point it is what it is. I will say this I have plans of being best buds.

Well that's it in a nut shell, my next post will be about money and today's totals.

Nice surprise

January 1st, 2013 at 04:13 am

Went to visit my dad and my brother gave me $20.00 Smile
I simply added it to my challenge. This was a really nice surprise.

Well I'm bringing in the new year alone , the BF decided he did not want to leave his mother alone. I think I'm being selfish but it's almost a month since his dad has died and he has spent all his time with his mother, so much that I asked him if he'd like to move in with her.

Even his other siblings has gone about their day to day activities.

I am aware that things change when death knocks but , don't forget I'm here too.

Just needed to vent a little.

Have s happy and safe new year's.

Having the discussion

December 28th, 2012 at 04:10 pm

Well I plan on having a heart to heart with the BF. He has to do better financially. He spends money foolishly and now he is short $400 for this month's up coming bills.

The day after Christmas he took his entire family to breakfasts and spent $200 because that's what his dad use to do and he feels responsible to take care of the family. That's fine so long as you can afford it but you can't. I know he is grieving but he has to think rationally.

Next he finds out his 16 year old daughter is pregnant and I have made it clear she cannot live with us. Now if he wants to move out and help raise his grandchild that is fine with me because I'm not going to foot that bill.

What a year

December 14th, 2012 at 01:36 am

This year is ending on a sour note. My BF losses his dad last night and it was unexpected.

Please keep him and the family in your prayers

$20 Challenge

November 27th, 2012 at 03:24 am

Made it to the gym, so I'm adding $2 to the Challenge.

Also bought dinner, $18 so I added another $18 to the challenge.
Grand total $20 plus $4 from earlier was $24 added to my challenge, all of which was paid on CC2.

Bad news BF just said to me he will need for me to pay rent this month coming, I am not a happy camper about this.
He really needs to get his crap together. I know I've complained and some will say leave or shut up but like anything else it's hard but I'm really considering moving into my own place vs. renewing the lease in February.

Date night

November 25th, 2012 at 01:28 pm

Last night the BF and I had a date night, we really needed it. Dinner, my treat, was just a little over $30 and the movie, his treat, was $14 plus $3 for popcorn. I brought in my own drink. We saw "Lincoln" and I enjoyed it.

On a different note, he has managed to get himself screwed up again with his child support. I have told him time and time again to simply send an extra $100 a month to catch up but for some reason he won't. However, he can give his kids what ever they want (i.e. laptop, new cell).

I think it's hard for me to understand being that I don't have children but I believe it's okay to say no, especially when it's not a must.

So with that said, I'm back saving, paying down debt, and focusing on grad school.

I'm not sure what God has planned but I'm sure it's for the best.

Now I'm heading to the gym (3xs this weekend) and adding another $2 to the $20 Challenge (CC1 debt). So far this weekend I have paid an extra $6 on the CC. I figured, on average I should be adding an extra $10 a week that equals an extra $40 a month paid on the CC by simply going to the gym. Works for me Smile

Day 2

August 4th, 2012 at 12:01 am

Day 2 and once again I had breakfast at home, packed my lunch and had dinner at home Smile

So I have added $6 to the challenge ($3 for the EF and $3 on CC1).

On different note, I just received a call from one of the girls who is in my friend's wedding with me asking for $25

I have never been in a wedding where the bridal party pays for a bridal shower. All I can say is I can't wait until this wedding is over.

Grad school and finances

May 28th, 2012 at 09:13 am

In hopes of landing a better job, I went back to school and obtain my bachelors; unfortunately, like so many college grads I did not obtain a better job. However, I have recently surrounded myself with what I would call experienced professionals, who are now my mentors (shhhh they don't know it). Lol

It's funny, when I was a kid one of my teachers always said surround yourself with the smart kids and you will want to be better. Guess what as an adult, I have and I think I'm doing better as it pertains to my career.

Training classes offered free by my job, I would turn my nose up at. But as I realize the more you know the more marketable you are, plus the classes are free. So I have signed up for an excel course, HR course, grant writing as well as leadership course.

I have also joined a book club, I am the youngest, with woman who are 60+ all whom are former educators, doctors, lobbyist, nurses etc. I must say I have learned a lot

In addition, I've joined some professional groups. For example, the Black Republican Caucus, which I am executive board member, the ACLU in which I will be trained on rights restoration on Wednesday, and I am a board member of my local city's Community Relations Board. So professionally I think things are looking up

With all that said, I decided to apply for grad school Wink seeking a masters in human resource. Keep your fingers crossed

On a different note, I have punched the numbers and it seems at though the BF is short monthly about $150. The month isn't over yet but I think I'm pretty close. So we will be having a discussion. I think versus him giving me money every other week he should hold on to it until the bill comes and we split it.

That's it in a nut shell.


May 25th, 2012 at 10:32 am

I have never wanted children, and to be honest 38 years later I still don't. Having a kid in the house is driving me nuts. I really don't know how much longer I can do it.

SD has very bad hygiene problem that is driving me nuts. I feel like at 17 she doesn't need anyone to tell her to change your underwear, brush your teeth, wear clean clothes etc etc

I'm thinking WTH did your mother teach you or is this why your mother is so disgusted?

Last month she had dirty clothes mixed in with clean cloths and shoes in the bottom bathroom drawer that smelled like a dead body decaying. So I make her take her cloths out and tell her no cloths or anything in that bottom drawer. What do I see in there last night? Yep clothes again! I tell her take those clothes from our of that bottom drawer, she ask me why. Now I'm annoyed that she ask why but I respond simply, you are irresponsible and if I see anything in that bottom drawer it's going in the garbage.

Next she loses her cell phone charger, calls me to ask me if I have it, really? Long story short I don't have it. She as can she borrow mine, my response "No you need to learn to keep up with your things you may place your phone on my charger but you may not remove my charger"

Now this morning she decided I want my phone never mind if I am getting dressed and not properly ready to be seen to the world and barges in. Well Tuesday when she returns a conversation will be had, when that room door is closed you do not barge in.

Ughhh. Yes my mom and I do not get along but thank God she taught me about cleanliness.

What I can't stand

May 22nd, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Is someone who attempts to count my money. I'm home practicing using Excel and my BF comes home and says, " I don't have any money you need to take her(his daughter) to get some tights tomorrow, I'll give it back to you"

First of all don't tell me what I need to do, second of all I don't jump when a kid says they need something at the last minute, and lastly what makes you think I have money.

I was so annoyed I could scream but you better believe he is going to hear about once I calm down.

Rude just rude. I am so annoyed I can scream.

Short end of the stick

April 27th, 2012 at 06:59 am

I'm not sure but I'll know after I balance all the accounts the end of the month, but it seems like I am getting the short end of the stick.
Seems like I am spending more money than the BF on the home. We agreed that we would split everything but for some reason I don't think he is giving me enough or maybe I am spending too much.

The month ends pretty much on Friday for me, I'll pay out all bills and would receive my last check. He gave me $200 but I still think something is wrong. We will see

On a different note his daughter is driving me crazy, she is 17 and yet has a mind of a 8 year old. For starters she will not clean up behind herself, which drives me nuts, since I am a neat freak. She is scared to sleep in the dark, so all the lights are on as well as the tv, and she is afraid to stay home by herself. Ridiculous!

We will definitely sit down and talk things out after I review the books


April 11th, 2012 at 12:38 am

My Neice has been calling giving me an upto date account on my mother's health, not that I care to know, but wish her the best. Anyhow she says she'll keep calling until I speak to my mom, which I do not plan on doing. I advised her not to waste her time.
She says she knows my mom wants to speak to me because she'll say things like " I would ask Amber but she's not talking to me". I simply remind my Neice she is the one who said "Not to talk to her as long as I'm living" and to my knowledge I'm still living.

On a different note I gave my sister $10 last week, she has harassed me every other week for money and no matter how many times or different ways I have said I don't have it, she still calls and harasses me. Ugh!

Now onto me, my dad gave me $50 yesterday so I added this amount to my EF /Challenge. My boss has not signed off on my request for mileage, so my car isn't paid off yet

Next we went looking for beds because the one given to us has caused me some serious medical conditions. It's in pretty good shape, my bf finds its okay, I want to sell it on Craigslist and use the money towards the new mattress, but the BF wants to give it away.

At the cost of mattresses I think his idea is crazy, yes it was given to us but we really can't afford $900+ for a mattress.

Two more...

March 25th, 2012 at 01:37 pm

Car payments and I am done! Thank God! I cannot wait until May when I send off my final car payment. The goal is to continue to put aside the money I was paying on my car, well at least a portion of it. I plan on paying down some debt as well.

On the home front, things seem to be going pretty well, no complaints.

My dad offered my someone money to buy the place that I am in, but I really don't plan on doing so until the end of the year but it's great to know he is supportive. My mother would never offer

In the end, things seem thus far to be moving along very well

$20 Challenge

March 16th, 2012 at 01:38 am

Back to normalcy. I have been in a lot of pain since the move, back problems.

I believe I have strain/sprain my lower back. The doctor advised that I use heat and I know better from working at the clinic, but I did so and I think it made things worst Frown So I have decided to ice and am feeling much better than yesterday.

On a different note I used 2 coupon for Tide today saving me $2 so I added this amount to my $20 Challenge Big Grin

My friend came into some extra money and her house warming gift to us to to take us grocery shopping tomorrow Big Grin this will save $60--good friend

In the end that's it for now, I will go ice


March 15th, 2012 at 10:47 am

$67.69 is what I had left in my checking account before payday today so I added this amount to my challenge/EF; I can't wait to hit the $2000 goal, only a $100 away.

In other news, I'm loving the new place and at the same time not even remotely missing my mother. I am so thankful for being out of such a toxic environment.

It's only been a few days since I receieved notice of my GC being mailed but I'm still anxious.

Today is payday and I am hoping I'll have my mileage reimbursement check as well so that I can get an oil change.

That's it so far.


March 7th, 2012 at 01:38 am

It's been about two weeks, and I am loving the new place. It's funny because I hardly ever think about my mom, but I will say this, when it comes to cleanliness, we are just alike.

Other than my BF daughter, things seems to be going well. I'm definitely going to have to work with her and her cleaning habits

I've still kept track of my spending but haven't really been able to sock away anything. When I get my mileage check, I'll add the $114 to the EF

Oh, I almost forgot, I really need to set up a grocery budget, things are getting out of hand. I find myself at the store every week and I really want to go twice a month ( each pay period). So we'll see


March 2nd, 2012 at 01:39 am

Okay we have moved in, whew! I'm actually loving the place. However, the BF gave me his portion of the rent and he is short $50. All I can do is shake my head.

I haven't said anything but I do know that if this happens next month, there is going to be a problem.

He is currently waiting on $350 from a job he did which he should collect next week and I should have my $50

But moving right along, I was able to sock away $200 to my EF to cover my portion of next month's rent. Also I'm waiting on a $140 check for my mileage reimbursement for February, which means once received I'll pretty much have my portion of the April rent, with out touching my EF.

Also if things go well, I should be able to sock away an additional $200 to my EF by March 15th Smile

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