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Family Debacle

August 11th, 2019 at 04:50 am

What a day yesterday was.

I really hate when people waste my time.

First, I had a 6 am hair cut appointment, then I stopped at Walmart. Picked up a few things that I need to take back.

Next I was to attend a brunch/lunch 10 am for my cousin . Got there, well the host or family wasn’t there. No one showed up until close to 12 and the food arrived close to one. I love my family but this was absolutely ridiculous.

Then the lady who was suppose to look at my sewing machine, gave me the wrong time and was not available.

Lastly, I’d stopped by Joann fabric looking for a screwdriver for my machine, was told they didn’t carry it. Well I went back to look and there it was, a ton of them. Well I bought it, told the rep who was helping me where I had found them . But guess what? I can’t use on my machine, it’s too small 🤦🏽‍♀️🙄

I was so annoyed I really wanted to finish my pillows yesterday.

SO called, honestly I think he’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I just listened. I personally think he needed a friend without judgement, he hasn’t asked to move back or a second chance, so I listened and shared my advice.

1. The daughter with the baby called, while he was a few hours a way at a funeral. Her employer ask that she come in and she needed a sitter. He told her she couldn’t go. It’s obvious she doesn’t understand the severity and what’s needed to raise a child. I made a recommendation for a free first time mother seminar and I’ll do it again.
2. The mother has drove him nuts. He’s so disgusted with her, I can’t even share here what she did. I told him to get her counseling
3. He told me he told his mother he will be getting his own place. I think he will and this would be the best thing for him.
4. I personally think it was good he went home so that he could finally see how dysfunctional things were/are

7 Responses to “Family Debacle ”

  1. Creditcardfree Says:

    So at what point do you stop taking his calls? I guess I thought you broke up? Maybe I misunderstood. I get he needs someone, but it doesn't need to be you. You gave him more than enough of your time and support.

  2. CB in the City Says:

    I think it's okay to take calls and listen, just don't get drawn in again. You are showing him tough love and it sounds like he is starting to figure out he needs to take responsibility for his own life.

  3. rob62521 Says:

    Sorry you had such a tough day. Hopefully you can find the right size screwdriver and get your machine humming and your pillows made.

    As for the tardiness, I am with you. I have a half brother who decided he wanted to reconnect after 40 years. Fine, except he would invite himself and his wife to things, like when we planned to go to a special place for an anniversary dinner, and then not show up. Or, he would want me to make reservations at a place for their anniversary dinner and then would be over an hour late. I know there are times things happen and people get delayed, but after about 4 times of either no show or being really, really late, I said enough was enough.

  4. Joanne Says:

    I also agree with you about people being habitually late. I have a few people in my family who used to do that. Do you want your So to tell you all these things? If not maybe don't answer? Or ask him to talk to you about something positive? I'm not sure if your still interested in hearing his problems. I think you need to change your response even more. Or maybe ignore him?

  5. mumof2 Says:

    sorry you have had a bad week...but I agree with others here that he needs to stop calling you with his issues just tell him it is not your problem anymore and it is something he needs to sort out himself...when people are made to stand up on their own feet they will...but if people continue to do things for them they won't change...so time for him to grow up and sort his mom out and his personal life...sounds harsh but i think its the best thing for both of you.

    As for being late if you are half hr late with me and no call it will be the first and last time but I will order my food and still eat I won't wait for you..people who know me know this...this day and age with phones not like they cant call and let you know..if a legit reason then ok...if not then I won't bother again

  6. Jenn Says:

    I'm amazed that you had a 6am hair appointment! On your x-SO, i agree with the others that you should wean yourself from his personal counselor role. Not in a mean way but keeping your focus on your life to the point that you don't have time for him. Your pillow project is a good start. What's next?

  7. Amber Says:

    Hi all!

    Thanks for the sound advice. I’ve decided that we will be friends, I’ve definitely drawn the line on the relationship. I’m extremely nervous about him, not to the point that I would allow him to live me but that I think he’s going to have a nervous breakdown. Unfortunately, I’m it when it comes to venting.

    He’s acknowledged that the mother is toxic. His education isn’t of that if one who is educated so I’ve been sharing resources.

    I’m in a happy place, very happy. Things that are out of my control, I’ve shared out of my control. Things that he may not be aware of, I’ve shared the resources.

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