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Non Financial

January 12th, 2012 at 05:26 am

Okay this is going to be a very long post, which has nothing to do with finances. In addition, I'm crying and using my phone to type, so I'm sure there will be grammatical errors by the boat load.

So here we go, last week my mon and I had a few words. I woke up and she was yelling about why did I leave my clothes in the washing machine. So I said to her I was going to rewash them. Her response is I do it all the time. Grant it we both has a tendency to leave clothes in the wash. So I said to her why didn't you just take them out (I do when she does it). Long story short I take my clothes out get dress and go to work.

Well upon my return she didn't say anything to me and I didn't say anything to her. Now fast forward 4 days. I wake up this morning as you all know I am going out of town for my bday. My bf comes we load the car and I go to tell her we were leaving. I call her name no response, call again still no response so I go into her room and she is in the shower so I pop my head in. And say "Ma we're leaving" her response "As long as you live don't say anything to me and get the fuck out of my house when you get back!" All i can say is okay. Really? Who tells their child that and why? To be honest I can say my childhood wasn't the best and I have realized today that I really don't love my mother nor do I think I ever felt love by her maybe that's why I have had really bad reelationships, maybe that's why I live above my needs trying to feel love. I must say thank God for my bf because I feel like jumping off a bridge right now. I'm absolutely tired. Ye es I've been getting back on track but I do not have anywhere seto go. And even if I did, I will deplete my savings moving and I wouldn't even be to buy food or gas for my car. I just don't know what to do

12 Responses to “Non Financial ”

  1. ccraw Says:

    I'm sorry this is happening to you Amber. Hopefully by the time you get back she will have calmed down and you can talk it out with your mom, at least she may give you a bit more time to figure out what to do. Can you stay with your boyfriend for awhile?

    I hope this doesn't ruin your birthday getaway and you can still enjoy yourself and not worry so much. Sending many positive thoughts your way.

  2. momcents Says:


    Dear Amber,

    What a sad post. It seems as if you've had some big revelations about things from this past encounter. (I am someone who is emotionally divorced from a biological father, but have realized that it isn't really a divorce because there has never been an emotional connection). I went through the "what is wrong with me and why am I not love-able" phase and has even shaped the way I parent (I can say that I am ultra-ultra attached with my kids, which has made it difficult for both of us when it is time to have space in our relationships, as we should.)

    Take the time away to relax and enjoy yourself. This problem won't be fixed over night. I'd suggest taking a practical approach to finding a place to go; as CCraw asks, is BFs place an option for the meanwhile? I think that your emotional well-being should trump the financial situation for awhile, even if it means deflating the savings to find a better living situation.

    Take care, dear. Let us know that you're OK when you feel better. Wishing you warm wishes and offering a prayer for your peace.

    Laura

  3. ladymiller Says:

    I sorry...hopefully things will work out. Keep us posted. Take care.

  4. PNW Mom Says:

    I'm so sorry to hear this....hoping things will work out....take care and let us know how you are doing....sending hugs your way.

  5. ceejay74 Says:

    Amber, sorry this is happening. I hope she grows up and starts talking to you, but either way, it may be time to move out even if it means a temporary financial setback. Good luck and stick with SavingAdvice -- we can at least lend a sympathetic ear if nothing else!

  6. My English Castle Says:

    Ah Amber, this is so sad. I wonder if something else is going on with your mom and she's taking it (unfairly) out on you? Hang in there; we're all pulling for you here.

  7. scottish girl Says:

    I'm so sorry to hear.

  8. PatientSaver Says:

    It sounds like your mother was reacting to something more than just that 1 (or more) times you left clothes in the washer. Do you know what the underlying issue is?

    If not, I would try talking to your mother about it. Perhaps it was an overreaction to something else going on with you two. If not, and she still seems intent on having you leave, then it's probably for the best in the long run, even if it seems like a painful process in the short term. It's not healthy to live with people who speak to each other that way.

  9. LuckyRobin Says:

    How awful. I'm so sorry.

  10. veronak Says:

    Thanks every one I feel a little better. Unfortunately , my bf is home with his parents he has been bugging me to move but I've been putting it off. I do have a friend who has been wanting me to rent her condo, so I sent her daughter an email, hopefully she hasn't rented it and I can get out of that house first thing Monday

  11. frugaltexan75 Says:

    {{{hugs}}} No one should speak to another human being like that - especially not family. I am sorry your mother spoke like that to you. On Delphi Forums (delphi . com) there is a forum called Toxic Families. That may be something you might want to check out (it is free for a basic membership.)

  12. veronak Says:

    Thanks frugaltexan I will check it out

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