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My blood pressure is up

January 22nd, 2012 at 11:20 am

I went to the doctor's last week and my blood pressure was a little high. However, for the last few days I have had such a headache and I know it's from the stress of living in this house with my mother, the stress of moving all coupled with the unknown.

So I'm sitting in my room and my uncle,who lives with us, motioned for me to come and talk to him. So I go into his room and he ask me what happened between my mother and I. So I tell him the story, explain I found a place and would be moving. He basically sits there like he can't believe it and shakes his head. Just talking about it gets me all emotional so I start crying, head back to my room to finish polishing my toes.

Next I get a call from my brother to ask me what happened and then he tells me I should apologize. My response is for what? So I tell him what happen and how negative and unsupportive she is, he says he knows and I should just ignore it because I know how old folks are. Then he tells me that my mother says that I yell at her and that he has seen it. I say to him, how does she speaks to me? I only give her what she gives me. His response well just apologize because you know how she is. I'm tired of everyone justifying her behavior and allowing it to continue because "That's how she is." When she was explaining to him her side, and he heard my side of the story he should have said to both of us that "we" should apologize.

As I told him, I'm giving her what she asked for which is not talking to her as long as I live and moving out on March 1

8 Responses to “My blood pressure is up ”

  1. Ima saver Says:

    I am so sorry that you have to go thru this.

  2. Jenn Says:

    It does sound like you need to get yourself in a healthy environment. Unless you've really done something wrong, you shouldn't take on any guilt.

    We moved across the country, and you know what? Our relationship with 'those' family members is better now than it ever was before the move. Now it's on our terms.

  3. creditcardfree Says:

    Your brother is definitely not helping. It will be better when you are in a better living situation.

  4. veronak Says:

    Thanks everyone. It's funny because when I lived on my own we got along much better. When I moved back home I would say the first couple years were great but she slowly but surely went back to her same 'ol self. Just mean spirited. The funny thing is everyone acknowledged it

  5. ccraw Says:

    Hi Amber, your mother sounds alot like my mother. My sister calls her "psycho mom" because you don't know minute to minute what kind of mood she is in or whether she will be nice or bite your head off.

    We've all just learned to tip toe around her to save the peace (I'm not suggesting you do this) and try to keep things on an even keel. I've had to stay with her and when I do it's not long until the mean side comes out.

    In my mothers case I believe that she has some form of mental illness that has never been diagnosed or treated. Her father committed suicide when she was younger.

    Your brother sounds like he does like we do.

    I hope all goes better for you. Make sure and keep an eye on your blood pressure one of the symptoms is a headache. Take care of yourself and try not to stress too much until you can get out of there.

  6. veronak Says:

    Thanks CCraw, we have all pretty much concluded that she is bitter from the divorce with my dad. In addition, she grew up in Jamaica so I think it was a little rough, I remember once she told me in bits in pieces about a beating she received. She use to beat us pretty much the same way.

  7. baselle Says:

    You don't get brownie points for destroying your life just because "you know how old folks are." Your mother sounds mentally ill and if one can be partially talked out of it (talk therapy) one can also be talked into it, which if you endure your mom's abuse can happen. Its how abuse gets passed on.

    If your brother wants to enable, he can stay with her.

  8. LuckyRobin Says:

    Your brother is probably wanting you to apologize so it will make his life easier, not yours.

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