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Update

January 21st, 2012 at 06:24 am

After the fiasco with my mom, we went ahead and went to Alabama which turned out to be a great trip. We toured the capital, the Freedom Rider Museum, The White House of Confederacy, Selma which was the historic march from Selma to Montgomery, the March to Vote, we also toured Dr. King's church and home as well as many other historical sites.

We got back home I had to go back and forth with the rental car because I was promised 15% off and did not receive, I finally got my 15%

My mother is still my mother, she had the nerve to hide food from me the other day. I can't believe that but oh well. She didn't even say happy birthday. But I think she was a little shock to see me with some moving boxes.

I spoke with my sister who also acknowledged that my mother is a hurtful person and she explained that my mother is angry over a marriage (divorce from my dad) which was not a healthy one. Which I pretty much concluded myself but to hear some of the hurtful things she said to my sister, I must admit; unfortunately, made me feel a lot better. I guess to hear from some one who is almost 20 years older than me go through what I went through and feel the same way helped me to realize a few things. 1. It's okay not to feel any love for a woman you're suppose to call mom 2. Your mom is a hateful and angry person 3. She has always been this way 4. It's not my fault

On a different note, I found a place which is owned by a friend for $950 a month. It's the cheapest I found and is very clean. So I'll be moving in on March 1. This is perfect, it gives me a little time to earn som extra cash at work. No matter how I cut it, I can't afford any place by myself unless I get a second job which I plan on doing.

I politely reminded the BF that he owes me $200 for the rental car, I am not footing the bill on that. So he said he'll give it to me. If I don't have it by Wednesday, I will remind him again.

I received my $10 rebate check from Macy's thank goodness. Now I'm waiting on the following:
-$200 Gift card BCBS
-$75 Aflac Cancer policy ( I don't have cancer thank God but when ever I do the healthy screening I get $)
-$60 Aflac Dental
-$51.00 Eflex

The checks from Eflex and Aflac will cover our trip hotel room, the good thing is I didn't pay any money out to get this extra money Smile

6 Responses to “Update”

  1. monkeymama Says:

    "1. It's okay not to feel any love for a woman you're suppose to call mom 2. Your mom is a hateful and angry person 3. She has always been this way 4. It's not my fault"

    I am so sorry. The irony is though I have such a GREAT family there are several people in my family like that. My dad's mom? WOW! & the rest of his family and her siblings are such outstanding/positive/nice people. We've had a lot of conversations about where the HECK did she come from? My mom's sister is the same way. So there are some pretty *seriously* toxic people in my more immediate family. What did my dad do? He left home and started his own life the second he turned 18, and was better for it. I think he was just well aware she wasn't quite right and moved on with his life. Just to say I definitely think you should remove yourself from the situation. & I feel you - some people you just can't do anything but try to stay the hell out of their way. Not that you should never talk to her again, but I think some distance will do you well. & remind yourself of those #1-4 every time you have to deal with her. & talking to your sister is a great idea too (someone who can relate and knows what you are talking about, but has had a lot more time to deal with those feelings).

    But yeah - I totally agree - there are some people out there who you just can never take personally - they are so bitter! But it's hard when it is a mom or a child or a sibling. Probably the hardest when it is a mom. (HUGS)

  2. veronak Says:

    Thanks so much, it means a lot to hear from others

  3. jewels3 Says:

    I'm sorry Amber, it's hard when it's your parent. I can understand, though. I have not seen or spoken to my mother since 2009, and while I'm sad about it, it really is much healthier for me, as she is such a negative person.

  4. veronak Says:

    Jewels I can't say that I'm not sadden but I'm praying that this new chapter in my life is much healthier than the last few. I am so sad and have been that way much of my life, unfortunately. But I can say I didn't cry yesterday and it seems like I won't today.

  5. Looking Forward Says:

    I am happy to read that you found a place.
    Good. Big Grin

  6. baselle Says:

    I am so sorry. My mother was toxic too, with the 1-4 list that you cite. There is a 5 also - 5. Its her or me. (And it wasn't going to be her.)

    I only spoke to my mom a couple of times over the phone in 15 years; didn't even see her once during that time. Its good to get that distance because you live your life, collect your circle of relationships, and you develop your own self-worth ... along with a whole village of people who know you as a great person. Sometimes its a little strange because most other people do not have that experience and you feel a little left out, but it means you have to make your own family.

    Just remember that you are not alone.

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