Amber's Personal Finance Blog

Whoooo I sympathize with anyone who moves, it is a lot of work. I woke up this morning and said I was taking my shoes and most of my clothes to the new place.

I notice that the minute I came out of my room with boxes, my mother who was talking to my uncle, stop dead in her tracks. But I didn't say anything I just kept loading my car up.

Next the BF came by and he had a newspaper but she, my mother, refuse to look at it because she feels like, I think, I'm going to be mad. All I can say is oh boy. I think she thinks I am hiding the paper because last week she did not get it but actually we bought one, never read it and have been driving around with it in my car all week. My mind has been on a number of things (i.e. work, the move, saving money, 2nd job)

Anyhow now I'm ready to leave with my things and when I go outside my mother is sitting in her car with the radio blasting, crying. I did not say one word I got in my car, went to my new place, unpacked came back home, washed a few load and washed my hair.

Now I don't know if she is sad about me moving, mind you she told me to get the $@) out!, sad about something else, in pain or what because her last words to me were "Don't say anything to me, as long as you live don't say anything to me and when you get back, get the ($@;: out my house!" But I am doing just that.

Unfortunately I have a lot of hate for my mother and I'm glad I'm able to admit to that, I think it's part of the healing process but I do think I need a little bit of therapy and plan on seeking a therapist once I move. There a lot of things I'm willing to admit and I think it's making me better

Okay I picked up the keys today to the new place. I must admit I'm really nervouse. But I've cleaned the master bedroom and bath, wiped down the kitchen counters and cabinets, swept and moped the guest bedroom. I've put away the culinary and made the bed in the master bed room, so when I move in ally I gave to do us shower and get into bed

Tomorrow I will take all my shoes and clothing hanging in the closet, as well as my purses, and belts. Since we are expecting a cold front I'm going to hold off on the sweaters.

I'm really glad we got the keys early it makes the move do much easier.

I plan in having my BF brother-in-law who is a pastor come by and bless the home before we move in.

So that's it in a nutshell.

...the Heat won so I am adding $1 to the $20 Challenge/EF

Okay I was a little nervous about withdrawing the $950 for the deposit on the new place, I really didn't want to empty my EF that I worked so hard to build up since November. Actually I was trying to wait closer to the date to move in and when my tax return was to be deposited but I said to Hell with it and took the money out .

I'm glad I did, for one my landlord/friend was really happy. Two, I got my keys early so I'm able to clean the place and clean out my storage early. Lastly, I was able to talk to my friend about keeping the electric and water in her name that way I wouldn't have to pay a deposit.

The reason why I said God works in mysterious ways is that, I receieved my mileage check today ($290) and deposited it right into my savings. Usually it takes close to two weeks for me to receive my check but this time just a few days so rather than my EF being more than less than half of what I started with this year its about half that amount and once my tax return is deposited I will be a little bit over than what I started with.

Unfortunately it will take me a little longer to pay off CC1 but that's okay

On a different note my crazy mother had my sister to call me to ask if I paid the electric and water bill. My sister was like "y'all need to stop that" I said to her she needs to stop because I'm in the next room from my mother and she is the idiot for making the phone call.
Thank God I'm getting from out of here

Today wasn't a bad day, I went to Target to earn my ShopKick points. Hopefully by the end of the week I'll have enought points to earn a $25 gift card which I plan on buying some paper towels, soap etc. with the gift card.

My coworker gave me three brand new shaving cream because she no longer has hair since her chemo, and she also gave me a small thing of unopened butter. I figured, total this stuff would have cost me about $12 so I'm going add $6 to my challenge/EF and the other $6 to my challenge/cc account.

Currently I'm still waiting on my BCBS gift card ($200), I plan on paying my cable and cell phone with this and adding what I would have paid to my challenge/EF. But right now I'm in wait mode.

Today I packed my breakfast and lunch, and I already have dinner prepared so $6 will be added to my $20 challenge
-$3 challenge/EF
-$3 challenge/CC

I am really proud of myself, one not giving up on my saving, two- controlling my spending, even when I'm tempted and three- knocking down my CC

To move that is. My mother is an evil and spiteful woman. She walks around the table so she doesn't pass me by or she'll hold onto her dress so that the tail of it doesn't accidentally hit me. For real? She is really a sick woman

Then my sister comes by and ask me again for money, really? What has changed since Saturday to Tuesday? Nothing! I'm sorry I do not have any money that I can afford to lose at this time. I think she asked again because my BF was there and probably was hoping he would have provided it to her but we have had a discussion about him spending money foolishly.

On a different note I think my BF will have the new job, the gentle who he spoke with wife called back and asked for a written estimate. Roughly the job will be about $1775, with $700 of it being our take home pay perfect for the move. Oh BF does landscaping.

Today I added $3 to my Challenge/EF and another $3 was paid on CC1 brining that total down to $144.35. I can't wait until this is paid off.

Went to Target to pick up a few things and to earn some ShopKick points I used my Target Visa Card to save 5% which was about $.64 saved and then went straight to guest services to pay my bill which was $13

It's funny a few years ago I would have charged this amount along with others while accumulating debt not worrying about paying the bill until the bill came. Wow, it feels so good to be on a different path

I almost forgot, I added the $.64 to my challenge EF as soon as I got in the car, lol

Just hit the send button for my taxes which will be received in perfect time. The money I socked away for a rainy day will be used towards moving but yet replaced with my taxes. I felt sad that I'll be spending the money towards moving but happy it will be replaced.

Please say a prayer and keep your fingers crossed, BF did an estimate for a job of about $2000, the gentleman stated he needed to discuss it with his wife. I figured if he got the money we could pay the rent up for two months.

Now I'm just in wait mode.

Finally reviewed the numbers for January, and I spent way too much money. I have got to cut back with the upcoming move.
Here it is:

Expenses
Automobile
Registration & Renewal $58.35
Auto Unassigned $3.50
Total Auto $61.85

Bank Fees
Interest Paid $137.47
Total Bank Fees $137.47

Bills
Cable $135.00
Cell $132.50
Internet $50.31
Cash Withdrawal $20.00
Clothing $70.39
Dining Out $48.62
Gym $42.50
Gasoline $105.53
Gifts $105.68
Groceries $164.99

Healthcare
Dental $100.00
Eye Care $20.87
Total Healthcare $120.87

Household
Cleaning Supplies $1.49
Furnishings $23.96
Pool supplies $9.40
Household Unassigned $32.56
Total Household $67.41

Insurance
Auto Insurance $203.06 (Jan/Feb)
Total Insurance $203.06

Miscellaneous $36.20

Personal Care
Facial $1.97
Feminine Products $9.20
Hair Care $75.69
Personal Care Unassigned $7.27
Total Personal Care $94.13

Taxes
Federal Tax $266.12
Medicare Tax $41.48
Sales Tax $28.25
SS Tax $120.14
Total Taxes $455.99

Travel/Vacation
Travel/Vacation $162.46
Total Travel/Vacation $162.46

Utilities
Water & Sewage $65.33
Electric $140.09
Total Utilities $205.42

Expense Unassigned $30.64

This is it in a nutshell, unfortunately my contract with At&t won't expire until next year; however, I know once I move the electric and cable bill will go down at least by half. Also most of my health care spending was actually refunded to me from my employer so that was a plus.

Actually after reviewing the numbers, my dollar amounts when it comes to spending (i.e. dining out, clothes) is much less than previous months prior to me returning to the blogs and since my mother isn't talking to me I've definitely saved some money

I called BCBS to check the status on my $200 gift card and was told I should receive between this week and next week. Apparently, the GC will be going out this week, whew. I was planning on using the money to buy a living set, but I'll pay my cell phone bill and the cable bill and place the money saved into my EF account.
Furniture at this time is not a must.

Now I'm just waiting on ING to issue a refund for the check I trashed.

We met with HOA today and was approved to move in, so it's officially I will be out of here on March 1st.

I must admit I am a little nervous, but with the grace of God I'm sure everything will be okay.

I plan on looking for a part time job, maybe one or two days a week but we'll see

I have been watching every dollar but not necessarily adding to my challenge. So I'm getting back on track to adding to my challenge. So the Miami Heat and the NY Giants won yesterday so $2 was added to the challenge.

Today is going to be a busy Sunday. First I'm heading to the storage and will clean out two boxes. Next, I plan on making it to spin class, then I will wash and vacuum my car, do my laundry at the same time, review my January spending, watch the Heat game and finally head to Duffy's for the Super Bowl. Whew, I'm tired from simply typing all this. Lol

Hopefully I will complete everything on my agenda, happy Sunday

Everyone knows I'm in the process of moving and yet it seems like they just don't care. My sister was given $5 a few weeks ago, she asked for more and now today she calls me up for $20. I can't afford to spend any money foolishly, yes I have $20 but I can't afford to lend it to you and not get it back. She is known for borrowing money and not paying you back, and with about a month left before I move I can't afford to give her $20. So my response was no.

Next my nephew who damaged my dad's door and window was arrested today. Why? Well he decided to beat up his pregnant girl friend. I hope they throw the book at him. He is suppose to go to court tomorrow and I'm sure my sister will make her way down there (the courthouse). The girl friend told my sister he called her asking her to come to court. She would be one IDIOT if she goes to that courthouse but to each it's own.

On a financial point of view, I slipped a little bit. I went out a few times for breakfast but I'm back to business today. I must say I have been tempted to spend money on clothing but have resisted.

Okay I received a call from the HOA to come in for an interview on Monday, I have my fingers crossed but I am still very nervous. See change scares me; eventhough, I have lived on my own in the past and did very well, I'm still nervous.

Next, I went ahead and paid $100 on CC1, I was a little nervous because I really don't want to spend any money since I plan on moving. I know it sounds crazy, I'd rather have no debt, or less debt when I move but I'm still nervous about it. The funds spent came from a personal account which I use for things like my hair, nails etc. so I pretty much cleaned that account out. I still have $ in the EF but that will decrease once I move as well. On a good note, I now have $144 left to go on CC1 before I can tackle CC2.

Moving right along, as I was at my dad's yesterday, my BF stopped by the house and my mother gave him the "low down" per se on why we're not speaking. He says the story she gave was pretty much the same as I told him; however, what annoyed me is he told her about the interview I had coming. I know it's silly but I'd prefer she knows absolutely nothing about me. She told him she wanted her house key, which hurt a little but at the end of the day is fine with me. I guess she doesn't trust me. If that's the case when her cd becomes due this month, she can have it, I'm done paying the taxes on it.

Now onto to my dad, I received a call from my brother who rents the efficiency my dad has to say that my nephew (my sister's) child had just broken his window out and the door. You see this kid is bad news, my sister has allowed him to be rude and disrespectful, and now at 27 he is out of control. Long story short, I'm not in jail because if he had hurt my dad I know I would have been, dad decided not to have him arrested and my brother fixed the window and door temporarily.

My mom always says or implies that I treat my dad better than her, but here is why I love my dad.

I am not saying he is the best but, I do know he loves us:
- My dad will defend us to the end, not mom
- My dad will provide for us monetarily if need be, not my mom
- My dad always says, "I love you" my mom has told me this once in my 38 years here on this earth and when she did so it just didn't sound sincere.

Today my dad gave me $20, which I am so glad he did, I spent $20 at the gas station, so this is like a blessing to have the $20 spent earlier pretty much given back to me. But what really made me smile was when I said to him "Keep it I might need it later" he said "No take it" I said "Why are you giving me $20?" he said "Because I love you"

Those simply three words makes a world of difference, I strongly recommend that parents use it as much as possible.

My mom is so caught up in "I did this for you, you treat you dad better" that she misses out on what's important, like showing love. Yes you provided food, shelter, clothing etc. but what are those things if a person doesn't feel love?

On a different note I added the $20 to my EF, tomorrow I meet with the HOA of the new place that I'm moving into
Things seem to be moving into the right direction

Im waiting on the 1099 INT documents from the banks. I don't think I earned over $600 interest, actually I'm almost positive but I'd rather be safe than sorry. The problem is my brother has an account in my name because he is considering filing for bankruptcy and my mother has a cd in my name as well. Both have a nice chunk of change in them but I don't think it's enough that requires me to file with my taxes.

So before I hit the send button, I'll wait.

On a different note I have racked up about $240 in mileage for the month of January, as soon as this check is received I will pay off CC1 and then start on number 2. The good thing is I think by my next pay period I will have about $200 left over and that's going into my savings

Some people are just plain crazy. I keep my keys on the sofa table so my mother places a stamped envelope under my keys. Usually when she does this its because she wants me to mail it. So me not being selfish mail the envelope. Now we live in the same home but she calls my sister to ask her to call me, to ask me if I mailed the envelope. All I can do is shake my head, because my sister should have said no and that she was not calling me and if I was thinking I would not have answered the question.

I can't wait to get out of this house

I wish there was an app for SA. Please forgive me, I'm using my phone and will probably have a ton of grammatical errors

Long story short, I love my job but I need to make more money. Spoke with my boss who stated that our grant has money that is slated for salary increases; however, she really has no control over her budget, which by the way is the reason the other supervisor quit. Actually, we have enough money to start every one off between 40k-45k and still be able to provide raises. But the Agency starts us off between 30-33k. Last year I had to hire an attorney in order to receive my salary increase. That is a long story that I will have to explain another time, just know that my former boss provided me some info, she probably could have lost her job but i received my salary increase.
Further more, I explained to my new boss that we are taking on additional responsibilities with no salary increase, another reason why one of the coordinators left. So basically with in 1 year we lost one coordinator and one project director.

In the end, I just sent my resume off for two positions. One similar to what I'm doing and the other is a little different.

Basically I can say this, it's not really the raise I'm concerned about, it's the misuse of federal dollars that I'm more concerned about.

Looks like I will have CC1 paid off before February BF provided me the $200 for the rental from our trip, so I deposited the money and made a payment to CC1. New total $252. Today I received my second Aflac check for $75, I'll mail it off to the credit union and pay $75 on the cc.

Moving along, looks like I'll be getting about a $1300 tax refund which sucks because that means I brought home less money for the year but the bright side is, it will replace the $950 its going to cost me to move.

I am a big believer that things happen for a reason. Last year around November, I got the urge to blog and save money. When I look back on it, the money saved is just enough for me to move.
In addition, I spoke with an old friend in November and advised her if her place was still available I would be interested in renting it. She's been wanting me to rent it for awhile and guess what, it's available and she will allow me to rent it, all furnished. Ironically this is the month my mother told me "To get the F$@% out!"

Further more, the money I will take to move, will pretty much be replaced when my taxes are complete this week.

I know there are some who do not believe in God, but I do and I believe that He advised me save, reconnect to my friend and file my taxes after cleaning out my savings, as well as starting my blog back up- you guys/gals have been so helpful in so many ways

Just talking about my family without any shame has allowed me to breathe again.

So yes, things do happen for a reason.

I went to the doctor's last week and my blood pressure was a little high. However, for the last few days I have had such a headache and I know it's from the stress of living in this house with my mother, the stress of moving all coupled with the unknown.

So I'm sitting in my room and my uncle,who lives with us, motioned for me to come and talk to him. So I go into his room and he ask me what happened between my mother and I. So I tell him the story, explain I found a place and would be moving. He basically sits there like he can't believe it and shakes his head. Just talking about it gets me all emotional so I start crying, head back to my room to finish polishing my toes.

Next I get a call from my brother to ask me what happened and then he tells me I should apologize. My response is for what? So I tell him what happen and how negative and unsupportive she is, he says he knows and I should just ignore it because I know how old folks are. Then he tells me that my mother says that I yell at her and that he has seen it. I say to him, how does she speaks to me? I only give her what she gives me. His response well just apologize because you know how she is. I'm tired of everyone justifying her behavior and allowing it to continue because "That's how she is." When she was explaining to him her side, and he heard my side of the story he should have said to both of us that "we" should apologize.

As I told him, I'm giving her what she asked for which is not talking to her as long as I live and moving out on March 1

Just wanted to say thank you to MonkeyMoma who helped me out when I had no clue on what I was doing when it came to my W2 I really appreciate your help...hugs

Looked at my W2 and it's matched up with my pay stub, I'm short about $1000 for the year. Now I'm going to the account department but was wondering how can I calculate to make sure the correct amount is being received and deducted?

Whew within two days I received two checks, $10 from Macy's and $60 from Aflac. Also BF provided me the $200 for the rental car so I'll pay the $270 on the CC.

I had left overs for lunch and was sitting at the table and I notice my mom was banging things. I think she wanted a response but I continued to eat my lunch while reading my book. Next she went into her room and closed the door, something she never does.
The funny thing is I was going to wait to eat but realized it takes more energy for me to change certain things than just going about my daily routine, while realizing that it must be killing her to go out of her way to do things out of spite. For example, hiding food, closing her room door-something she never does, calling all over town for someone to call my brother to tell him to call her( she doesn't have long distance so she usually use my cell phone). I'm just thinking once I just went back to my day-to-day it was easier for me to cope with her words.

After the fiasco with my mom, we went ahead and went to Alabama which turned out to be a great trip. We toured the capital, the Freedom Rider Museum, The White House of Confederacy, Selma which was the historic march from Selma to Montgomery, the March to Vote, we also toured Dr. King's church and home as well as many other historical sites.

We got back home I had to go back and forth with the rental car because I was promised 15% off and did not receive, I finally got my 15%

My mother is still my mother, she had the nerve to hide food from me the other day. I can't believe that but oh well. She didn't even say happy birthday. But I think she was a little shock to see me with some moving boxes.

I spoke with my sister who also acknowledged that my mother is a hurtful person and she explained that my mother is angry over a marriage (divorce from my dad) which was not a healthy one. Which I pretty much concluded myself but to hear some of the hurtful things she said to my sister, I must admit; unfortunately, made me feel a lot better. I guess to hear from some one who is almost 20 years older than me go through what I went through and feel the same way helped me to realize a few things. 1. It's okay not to feel any love for a woman you're suppose to call mom 2. Your mom is a hateful and angry person 3. She has always been this way 4. It's not my fault

On a different note, I found a place which is owned by a friend for $950 a month. It's the cheapest I found and is very clean. So I'll be moving in on March 1. This is perfect, it gives me a little time to earn som extra cash at work. No matter how I cut it, I can't afford any place by myself unless I get a second job which I plan on doing.

I politely reminded the BF that he owes me $200 for the rental car, I am not footing the bill on that. So he said he'll give it to me. If I don't have it by Wednesday, I will remind him again.

I received my $10 rebate check from Macy's thank goodness. Now I'm waiting on the following:
-$200 Gift card BCBS
-$75 Aflac Cancer policy ( I don't have cancer thank God but when ever I do the healthy screening I get $)
-$60 Aflac Dental
-$51.00 Eflex

The checks from Eflex and Aflac will cover our trip hotel room, the good thing is I didn't pay any money out to get this extra money

Okay I looked at some apartments and rent is not cheap. Apartments ranged from $895 to $1100, not including any utilities. The apartment that I really like is a 2/2 for $1190. This will be ready 2/8. BF will be living with me so this will help with the rent, he'll pay $850, I'll pay the difference and the utilities which equals out to what I pay living at home, give or take the extra $250 in rent. But my electric should go down by $100 (mom needs a new a/c unit and she refuse to buy one so I'm stuck with the $200 a month light bill) and the water should go down by $20 plus I think I will save on my cable.

So after the bf gets home tonight we will look over the numbers and decide who will pay what.

It's funny because right now I'm sitting in my car dreading to go inside, I hate coming home.

I notice that my mom placed the electric bill on the counter, but I'm not paying it, I have to move and I'll let her know that the bill came and she will have to pay the light and the water since I am preparing to move. I'm not trying to be spiteful but I really can't afford to drop $100+ on an electric bill right now.

I cannot wait to get out of this place. I must admit I'm scared but I scared before and God made a way for me to live on my own for about 6 years so I know we can do it

Well I'm back home from my mini vacation which on one end of the spectrum was wonderful because I wasn't home but on the other end horrible because I replayed my Mother's words over and over in my head.
When I told one of my BF what she had said she starting crying. I've read some material which said that most people who make hurtful comments are angry/hurt themselves which I pretty much figured myself about my mother. I realized that she is so consumed with my dad's unhappiness and hers that she makes everyone else unhappy. Every morning and night I hear her say "M you're going to suffer" referring to my dad. Once I was up about 2 a.m. and she was talking in her asleep saying "M y you're going to suffer" once I asked why do you say that every day and she never responded. Mind you my parents have been divorced now for 30+ years and since I can remember she has been consumed with him, asking questions and no matter what the conversation was it always ends up back to my dad. I believe she really did not want a divorce but she claims it was the best thing that ever happened.

I think I'm going to seek some counseling to help me deal with the rejection. Today I'm going to look at a place, I also have a call into one of my friends who was planning on renting her place so we will see

Okay this is going to be a very long post, which has nothing to do with finances. In addition, I'm crying and using my phone to type, so I'm sure there will be grammatical errors by the boat load.

So here we go, last week my mon and I had a few words. I woke up and she was yelling about why did I leave my clothes in the washing machine. So I said to her I was going to rewash them. Her response is I do it all the time. Grant it we both has a tendency to leave clothes in the wash. So I said to her why didn't you just take them out (I do when she does it). Long story short I take my clothes out get dress and go to work.

Well upon my return she didn't say anything to me and I didn't say anything to her. Now fast forward 4 days. I wake up this morning as you all know I am going out of town for my bday. My bf comes we load the car and I go to tell her we were leaving. I call her name no response, call again still no response so I go into her room and she is in the shower so I pop my head in. And say "Ma we're leaving" her response "As long as you live don't say anything to me and get the fuck out of my house when you get back!" All i can say is okay. Really? Who tells their child that and why? To be honest I can say my childhood wasn't the best and I have realized today that I really don't love my mother nor do I think I ever felt love by her maybe that's why I have had really bad reelationships, maybe that's why I live above my needs trying to feel love. I must say thank God for my bf because I feel like jumping off a bridge right now. I'm absolutely tired. Ye es I've been getting back on track but I do not have anywhere seto go. And even if I did, I will deplete my savings moving and I wouldn't even be to buy food or gas for my car. I just don't know what to do