Adulting is a termed used by those who are being responsible, I guess I finally made it lol.
Today I printed out a W4 at work and actually read through and made my adjustments. Rolls eyes 🙄
When I first started working, 30+ years ago I was told by an adult to always place zero on the document so that my tax refund would be nice. And so for years I did. Then I changed my withholding to two. But I sat down out of the blue and decided to read and follow the instructions for myself on the form and my actual withholdings should be three.
I'm so frustrated, not with anyone in particular but the fact that I was never taught about finances, not by parents, educators or mentors. I mean indirectly my parents always said to save and pay your bills, and I pay who I owe on time, but never taught about money.
I sit back and I reflect on the following
* taught myself how to balance a checkbook after always bouncing checks (early 20s)
* Mid 40s finally decided to review my allowances
* Paid off debt due to being frustrated but five years later back in debt, what did I learn?
On thing I was taught, and that was to do my own taxes. I've never paid anyone to do my taxes since I was 16. My economics teacher taught us how to complete a 1040EZ. I would go to the library pick up the documents and instructions for free. Now I use turbotax to complete my returns but I'm thinking of going back to good old pen and paper, it's free.
It's just amazing.
To change the subject we met up with some friends yesterday. They asked how the wedding planning was going, I said it's not going because the SO refuse to get on a budget and do right financially, and that he waste money. The SO said that I'm getting to be too cheap. They laughed but I didn't find anything funny.
So this couple goes on to tell us how they decided to put a $1000 away a month, I thought that's great, I'd love to do that. But then they go on to tell us that they purchased this new truck, Volvo, with all the bells and whistle and paid an extra $15k because they wanted the 2018 vs the 2017. Now mind you this truck starts at about $46k, I couldn't help but think I would love a new car but I don't know about spending that kind of money. They went on to tell us that they bought a condo, that's not rented in Vegas and it's only about $700 a month. I don't know a part of me was happy for them, jealous and then sad all at the same time. I couldn't help but wonder how much debt they must be in.
Well, my word for this year is gratitude. I have to remind myself that things (debt) do not make me happy. And though things may look great for others, and they may very well be, it's just not my season.
Things I'm grateful for, not in order of preference :
1. A roof over my head
2. Paid off car 🚗
3. Paid off 3 CC 💳
4. This group
5. Time spent with dad
6. Eyes finally open about my finances
8. My job
9. My health
10. Family and friends
11. God's grace and patience with me
12. No more depression, thoughts of suicide- haven't had this in a while, thank you Jesus
13. No more getting upset when things don't go my way. I'm not saying I'm not disappointed but I just don't dwell on it
Viewing the 'Family/Friends' Category
Adulting is a termed used by those who are being responsible, I guess I finally made it lol.
Last night our city hosted a free reggae concert, so a few of us ladies got together and bought some things to snack on and headed out. I purchased dessert, half priced Valentine's Day sweets 🍭 🍰, and bought a bottle of wine 🍷 that I already had at home. I only spent $7.47
Long story short this was such a great event, and it was free. I realized that having fun doesn't mean spending a ton of money 💰 or any for that matter.
Even the SO thought it was great to attend, and wants to go to the next one 🤔 Hmmm
I spoke with the rep over at the graveyard and I can give up or transfer that plot to the SO, thank you Jesus!
Only bad news is that we can only make it on the weekends and she's out this Saturday, but I'll be there bright and early on the 27th. Unless he's off Friday, I am, we can go in then. Two years fighting with him to pay his bill on time and I finally just got the nerve to say enough.
Cable was back off yesterday, because once again he did not pay his share. When he comes home tonight, I'm calling the company to see if we can transfer the service to his name, that way I'll give him the money and what ever he does is on him. Literally the cable is off every three months.
I'm counting down the days when I can say, I no longer need a useless roommate. Court scheduled for next month.
The last few days was a no spend day. We went out for my birthday (today's my birthday) for lunch yesterday with coworkers and I spent $10. Not bad but I'm still upset about spending money, I'm always like, I could use that for debt. But oh well.
I'm off for the next three days, so no spending money for me and I'm excited. Not driving a hour each way to work will save me a ton in gas ⛽️ as well.
Now I'm just waiting on W2s and 1095s to file my taxes, any money received will go straight to CC4. Hopefully I'll have number three (3) paid off by mid-February.
Lastly I'm wrapping up, "Why I Need a Budget," it's okay but I'm just not overly excited about the book. I personally didn't like the fact that the author pushes his product, YNAB. One thing that's in the book that stands out for me is the mantra, "debt is not option." I'm going to plaster this all over the place, in my car, on the refrigerator, my wallet, my money envelopes, I want to be reminded that debt is no longer a option.
That's it in a nutshell
Murphy hit yet again.
After getting the brakes repaired, I realized my tooth is cracked. I'd eaten a piece of candy and thought it was that but no it's my tooth.
Then the SO and I went off to the basketball game Sunday. I'd told him weeks ago that I did not want to go, but he claimed that our friends purchased the tickets for him/us since they'd owed us a favor. I think deep down he really wanted to go.
Anyhow we go down to the game. Then we end up having dinner. I'd told him prior to leaving that I was not spending any money. Not for parking, anything. And I didn't.
So we are on our way home, he's driving and we stop for gas long story short, he hits another truck. Jumps out the car and guess what he has no license. I can't continue to live like this. The only good thing about this entire situation is that the driver of the other vehicle had no license either. Smh 🤦🏾♂️
He kept apologizing, and I'm like enough already. We have talked about this crap since August and I just can't believe you have not taken care of it. Not only that, you're calling your mother now to bill clients so that you can repair the car. Are you serious? Why not just take over the business from her? What pisses me off is that he's saying the other driver hit him, if that's the case why is bumper damaged and not the front end? Who knows. My disinter looked at the car and said that the other drive hit us but can't do a thing because he has no license.
Then we come home and the cable box is out, I think lightening struck it. Can't call the cable company because once again he has not paid his portion of the cable bill and normally they want their money before any repairs. Smh
Long story short I was able to log in And schedule a maintenance call. The technician came out and we're all set.
In the meantime I did buy a little $15 antenna it works pretty good. I'll return it though for one of the better ones that was out of stock. Once I do that, I'm cutting the cable. He can pay for it if he wants.
Fast forward I wanted to walk out of my job yesterday. That place is a joke! I realize that I never want to be in a position in that I do not want to leave, well can't leave a job. I took another look at my budget. Cut some things and tomorrow I should be able to add $379 back to my EF. I'm annoyed because that money should be going to CC3 to pay it off but I have to beef up the EF since I used the money for breaks. Hopefully I'll have the Sprint check soon, and that should put me back at $1,000.
I got the first estimate of my car $800, I'm thinking they'll reduce if I pay cash who knows. I'm going to try two other places and then put it in the shop. I'm almost certain that this will be an expense in that I occur, SO never has his share for crap. Though he did say he would and so he should, pay for it. I'm not holding my breath.
Next month we go to court, hopefully we can get this house sold and behind us. I can pay off debt and then buy a small one bedroom condo that I can pay off in a few years, rent and then move into a two bedroom villa or something
I did it, I used the buffer in the checking account and paid $112.67 on CC3 to knock the balance down below the $400 mark, new balance $399.00.
I'll admit I'm nervous about not having the buffer but, I want this card 💳 gone! Over $6,000 💵 in furniture purchased with no help, as promised, to pay for any of it. And now, today, it's just under $400. OMG! I thought I'd never pay this bill off, now it looks as though late January I can say goodbye and good riddance.
Next on the list, is to head over to the grave yard and remove my SO account from mine, I'll even eat the cost if there's one to get his name off. For about eight (8) months when we first purchased I paid, I finally had a breakdown and he started to pay but he's always late. I told him I was not going into the new year with this mess, his mess. I'll be lying 🤥 if I didn't say a part of me feel bad 😔, but it's the right thing to do, other wards, I'll begin to resent him. It's for this best, especially for the move.
Last night we were chatting and I'm not even sure about what and how the subject of money 💰 came up but it did. I said something to him along the lines of, " do you realize that if something was to happen to you, that I couldn't take care of you or me?" He then said, " I could do it." I said, "How? You have no money saved and you pay nothing on time." He then said, "wow talk about putting me down." I felt bad but thought 💭 , why? It's the truth. If he got hurt and couldn't work, there's no way I could take care of both of us. Hell when I wasn't working, I depleted my savings because he couldn't pay the household 🏡 bills by himself let alone my other bills.
It's a tough journey but I have to stay focus.
Instead of saying I want, I'm now saying I will retire at 57. Plus you all do a good job at not sugar coating things, and keeping me accountable.
Good riddance CC3 and plot!
Went to Walmart and picked up birthday gifts for my three great nephews at $15 each ($45 total).
I'm so excited because I never did anything like this before. I created a sinking fund for birthdays and Christmas gifts. I'd budgeted $25 per kid (4) and came in $30 under. What a great feeling. The SO couldn't believe that I was buying birthday gifts for the months of February, May, and October. I just think that this was great. I think I'll do this every year, buy the gifts after Christmas on sale. As far as Christmas, throughout out the year I'll buy marked down items and since I'm keeping tabs on my budget I shouldn't go over.
Different news, my brothr (not the one who is a jerk) went to deposit cash into my account to cover January's mortgage (I purchased his house in my name in 2012) and the bank said he could no longer do that, crazy. Apparently there's some new money laundering law 🙄🤦🏾♀️. Well thank goodness this was a separate savings account so I'll give them the ATM card.
I bought my SO a Michael Kors watch ⌚️ from the outlet mall for Christmas. To purchase the Michael Kors box 📦 to put the watch in, would have been an additional $6. I opted not to.
Now he wants to know if his watch ⌚️ was bootleg because it's not in a normal MK box. I tell him, I wasn't spending $6 on a box.
His face >>>> 😳
My face >>>🤦🏾♀️
I'm on a budget, he's lucky of if got anything. Lol
He kept saying wow, I kept laughing. This was the first time in months that we actually laughed together. Felt good, just hope it's also a teachable moment for him.
Checked the balance on CC3 and it was $729.16. The $29.16 annoyed me so I added this amount to the card 💳, new balance $700.
I'm hoping to get this card down to $600 before the new year, maybe even $500. My next two budget periods are very lean and I have a $300 buffer in my checking account. I know, but for me this gives me a peace of mind. I'm so afraid that if I don't keep a buffer I'm going to use the CCs 💳. I'm also afraid to cancel them. Once I hit the $3,000 mark in the EF and pay off a few more CCs 💳 I can say whew, close out the accounts and not keep the buffer.
The buffer is primarily because I live with the SO, and most of the time he doesn't have his share of the rent until the second or third, that drives me crazy because it's due on the first. I'll be the first to say, I'm no pro with money, but I've always been super good about paying my bills on time. I hate paying late, and any late fees associated with it.
One thing that I'm excited about is, this is the first time I ever created a sinking fund (saving for a want and need); and come January 3rd I'll be using the funds to purchase my season ticket, cash. Notice I said "my" and "ticket" meaning one ticket and with cash.
Normally, I'd purchase both mine and the SO tickets using a credit card, I'll tell him and he'll say, "I'll give it back to you." Months go by, no money and I've racked up the credit cards, I've done this three years in a row. I've shared and reminded him that his share is due by the 3rd. The thing about it is, if he has his share it will save me $30 . For six tickets it's $60 plus an additional $60 for the parking pass, total $120. If he buys his, the grand total then turns to $180, We would split this in half to $90. Either way I'm prepared. It's cheaper to buy the parking pass than paying upon arrival.
I can guarantee you, he won't have his money. I'll admit I'm a little nervous but this is a tough lesson he's going to have to learn. I cannot and will not keep footing the bill. I know him, when he learns that I only purchased the one ticket he'll say "wow" and think that I'm being selfish, not realizing that at the age of 45 soon to be 46, I'm teaching him a valuable lesson, as well as myself.
I cannot wait to get out of this hell of a relationship.
Today the SO gave me back the $400 💵 he owed me. Almost three months later 🙄. I told him on Friday I wanted the money before the new year.
He goes on to tell me that he had over $400 in Christmas bonuses from his clients that he let his mother keep. Then he tells me that he gave his two youngest daughters $250 each, mind you they are 16, for Christmas 🎄. I don't say a word, I just listen. Besides I got my money, so I can careless and am working on my 2018 planner.
Now he's talking about how he wanted to pay what he owed before the new year, I'm still in my leave me alone mode while I get ready for 2018 🙄. Then he hits me with the "I'm so broke right now." I'm like wth! You gave your mother, mind you who is running the business in the ground close to $500, plus your two teenage daughters a total of $500 for Christmas. And did I mention he gave one (daughter) an additional $50 bucks because she cleans the house, what! She lives there. Apparently he pays her every week to do so. Total $1050.
Now he's whining about not having any money, as if he wants me to feel sorry and say here you go. Sorry buddy, I'm utterly disgusted with you.
First of all, as I have said in the past, and I'm done talking, I was simply thinking 💭 the following:
1. Your license is suspended and you just provided $1,000 to family in Christmas gifts
2. You have a pass due balance, again on the cable, of $136, and you just gave out $1,000 in Christmas gifts
3. You just spent close to $500 on a house Christmas party and gave away almost $200 of liquor that you could have returned and did I mention the $1,000 in Christmas gifts?
4. You're off for an entire week and won't get a check, mind you, he barely gets one from the mother, rent is due and you just provided a $1,000 in Christmas gifts 🎁
I'd say your priorities are all screwed up. The new me, can careless. I have goals in that I'm trying to accomplish like one, getting out of debt; two buying a house; three retiring at 57 and four traveling in my retirement. Can't do that with a person whose priorities are all messed up. Who continues to live like the Jones, who doesn't respect me enough to know how important it is reach these goals.
As he talked I just listened and worked on my planner. His voice reminded me why it's so important to pay down this debt, sell the house and move.
Pushing forward and not looking back
Well this is the first year ever that I CASH 💰 flowed Christmas 🎄, huge accomplishment for me. I'm so excited that I can scream.
I finally got my money back ($400💰) from my SO, this will not happen again. Never lend money you want back. Needless to say, this will cover the Sorority dues. 🤦🏾♀️🙄. I know, long story on this one.
Other news, I really really wanted a Happy Planner for 2018 but decided to create my own. I found some stickers on sale at Michael's and a cool calendar. I think it's coming along