Holiday Party Drama

For the past decade, I've been the primary host of our annual holiday party. While my ex and I have shared hosting duties, I've always borne the brunt of the financial burden. I've covered food, prizes, and other expenses, while he's contributed minimally. 

This year, I've finally had enough. I've made it clear that he needs to foot the bill if he wants to continue the tradition. Unsurprisingly, he's remained silent.

I’ve shared with friends that they’ll be no party, maybe next year but this year I have things to do. 

Student Loan Struggle

My student loan debt continues to be a heavy burden. Despite making significant payments, the interest rate has made it difficult to make substantial progress. I've had to reduce my monthly payments to save for a new car and roof.

Car and Roof Concerns

My aging car, with over 290,000 miles, is nearing the end of its lifespan, it's a Toyota. Given the exorbitant prices of new and used cars, I've been saving diligently. The goal is to buy used cash. 

The recent hurricanes in Florida have also caused insurance companies to force homeowners to replace my roofs. I've set aside some funds for this project, which right now will cost about $14,000. Smh. 

Work Progress

While my current job still isn't my dream career, I've grown more comfortable in my role over the past two years. It offers a decent salary and benefits, which is a positive.

That’s it this far. 

I can't help but think student loan providers are acting like loan sharks. This daily compounding nonsense is beyond infuriating!

I set out to knock off $1,000 from this loan in October, and I achieved that milestone today with my $200 payment. When it eventually updates, my new balance, excluding the absurd estimated interest of $17, will stand at approximately $30,988.00. It's taken me a whopping 10 years of relentless payments, even during COVID, to finally dip below my original borrowed amount. SMH!

Tuesday can't come soon enough – it's payday, and I'm ready to hurl another $300 at this never-ending debt. My mission: squeeze out $1,000 a month to get rid of it. 😤💸

Side note, my ex figured out how to pay for his home repair, he never asked to borrow the money, I guess with me telling him up front I had no money he got the hint. 

My ex recently called, but he didn't muster the courage  to request a loan. Instead, he went on about needing $300-$400 for a home repair. If he ever decides to ask, my answer is a firm "no."

Since our breakup, it's clear that he hasn't been able to improve his financial situation, and I'm skeptical he ever will. It's unfortunate because he's a genuinely kind and caring man, but it seems he's unwilling to pull things together.

On a different note, I participated in an interview discussing the challenges of repaying student loans. I'm eager to read the article about it.

I’m going to visit a friend who has cancer, as I mentioned before, fear often holds us back. It’s a two-hour drive and I’m fearful to take the ride alone so my ex is going. I’ve got to jump out on faith and just do things. 

I rented a room for one night, which cost $82. I could have stayed with my friend but she has cats and I can’t stand them. 

I was lucky to get a room at a reduced rate using a few points. Well my ex wanted to go early, and leave yesterday, I told him if he wanted to go early, he need to foot the bill for the room, which was 100+ dollars and I needed the money upfront if I was booking. 

Well as you can see we aren’t going early. One he doesn’t have the money, and two, I’m no longer footing the bill for anything he suggests or wants, nor am I  waiting for him to reimburse me as he always says. I was always booking the trip and he’ll give me the money back supposedly but it’s either I never see the money or he’s short when he pays me.

I foot the bill for a trip to NY a while back that he was supposed to pay me back which I never got. This is not happening to me again.  Nope. 

I'm not saying I'm perfect, Lord knows when it came to finances I made some mistakes; however I'm taking those mistakes and learning from it. 

I was chatting with my ex, thank God he no longer lives with me, and he was telling me how hard he was hustling to come up with $700 to fix a roof. $700!

 I don't know why but I felt so bad for him. All I can think was that you are 51 years old, in a job that is high risk that can cause you to stop working in a split  second and you're struggling to come up with $700. It's really sad. 

he always have the nerve to say "I've never been in this position."

I had to remind him that he's always in that position and that when he gets a check he needs to put something aside. 

Poor guy, he's got a big heart, but what he's doing, taking on caring for his mom 100% without preparing for his future, is a huge mistake. 

Tomorrow is Juneteenth as well as Father's Day. My dad never celebrated the holidays, and I miss him dearly. I would still visit with him on this day, I’d do anything to talk to him again. 

I decided to treat my ex-fiance to lunch/brunch. He has had a rough 2022, the poor guy is literally in tears almost daily. Since it was Juneteenth and I also wanted to support Black-owned businesses, I thought, why not brunch/lunch? I can kill two birds with one stone, take him out to get his mind off things, and support a small business owner so it worked out. 

He finally realized he needs to get his crap together and that the mother is toxic. I heard him snap at her, sadly rightfully so, something he never did. Even his daughter says the mom is toxic. 

In other news, I haven't heard a thing from either of the companies I interviewed with, I have been ghosted, I absolutely hate that. I was hoping to get some idea of my status before my trip and nothing. Not taking any chances, I paid myself for July. Paid my tithes, mortgage, a $100 on the student loan (boy do I wish I could do more), and my internet bill. I hate not being able to throw more at this student loan. Interest will start up again in August, which sucks. 

I also applied for another remote-jobs, hopefully, something will come in before August. 

Yikes, I forgot. I finished up three articles for $300 in gift cards. I can use this for gas and groceries, hopefully I'll be published this week so that I receive payment. 

I found this new podcast and the first episode that I listened to was about financial bullying. I had no idea that, that was even a term or how to describe what I feel when I say no to others, or how others feels about my journey. 

The podcaster discussed how others try to make you feel a shame or guilty if you don’t do things a certain way (insert Dave Ramsey) or say no to activities. 

I immediately thought about the many times I said no to things because it wasn’t in my budget and friends would give me looks, roll their eyes, make comments. Listening to the podcast I also thought about  the many times I’ve been asked when was I going to do my kitchen, remodel etc? I always felt bad or ashamed. After listening to this podcast I actually got angry. People actually do this crap, rather than encouraging each other, we beat folks down was my thought. 

Fast forward to today. I was chatting with the ex and shared that our dentist had sold his practice and that he should have started the much needed dental work he needed,  especially since the dentist discounted cost drastically. His response was “well I don’t have money like you.” I was furious when he said this,  so I responded, “this is your health, rather than getting new seats ( re reupholstered) for your car, you should have gotten your teeth fix.” 

Well I soon realized we were both engaging in financially bullying. Me, making him feel bad that he hadn’t gotten his teeth taken care of  and taking advantage of the discounted cost, and him being upset that I’ve managed to save and am comfortable. 

What I’ve learned is that everyone’s journey is different, we are only responsible for ourselves, and this is okay. Next time he complains about money, my only response is, only you have the power to change your situation. 

Different news, I polished my nails and toes today, saving close to $50. Even though I’m not a nail salon person it’s still nice to know what I saved. I also paid $31.41 on my mortgage principal because I had odd balance and  I rounded down to the nearest 100. 

Went to Walmart for a few things, it was raining so I couldn’t walk. I used a gift card but ended up going to Publix and having to spend cash because the shelves at Walmart were empty. 

I also booked my day trip/excursion. I used the CC for points but will pay that off tonight. I’m such a nerd, I’ve calculated everything down to the souvenirs I want to buy, I searched online and got estimated costs, lol. I didn’t ask my family if they were interested. I’d previously shared the info, no one responded and I didn’t want to harass someone in spending money they don’t want to. 

The financial journey is all about behavior change, one thing I do agree with Ramsey on 

I’m so glad that I live in an area where people come to vacation. This weekend was fabulous. I pretty did a staycation right at my home. 

Friday kicked off the weekend with Bible study, Saturday and Sunday were both pool days, self-facial and manicure and today I just relaxed. Time usually goes by quickly but having the opportunity to do absolutely nothing it actually dragged. Lol. 

I also got my itinerary ready for my upcoming trip. After my last trip I learned to plan my days. Day one, they’ll be 2-3 places I’ll visit, I’ve already reached out to a driver for quotes. Day 2, I’m booking a full day tour, waiting to hear from the rest of the travelers. If I don’t hear back by Wednesday, I’m booking my tour, can’t sit around and wait on folks.  Day 3 is a beach day, some window shopping and photoshoot. Day four we head home, so I’ll relax that day.  

I’ll have complimentary breakfast at the hotel. The full day tour includes pick up, ferry rides, and lunch. That’s $245. I think it’s worth it since I’ll be hitting a few islands and chances are I won’t be returning to this country in the near future. Since the family is going on this trip there’s no need to purchase souvenirs. I’ll just get a refrigerator magnet and a beach/pool bag for myself. I’m estimating $600 total and this include the photo and tour. 

This trip was planned and paid for prior to my return from Greece so there’s no backing out. Travel insurance doesn’t cover this type of cancellation. 

I was a little annoyed once I found out about my contract but now I’m excited about going and everything is paid for in cash. 

On a different note, I'm not sure what happened to my Memorial Day post, I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend;however, let us not forget those who made the ultimatel sacrifice.

First thing I did this morning was submit my monthly invoice to my long term client for $800. I then reviewed and updated an article that I’ll get paid $100 in gift cards. 

Next, I applied for a few jobs and consulting gigs. I’ll be honest, I want to do consulting work. I’m praying that this pans out and is long term. I do not want to go back into the office. I like working for myself, it’s the flexibility I enjoy most, as well as the money made. 

I’ve decided that before I do anything when I get the settlement check I’m going to pay my September mortgage, and an additional HOA payment. I’d rather be ahead on the payments since I have no clue when additional funds will come in. The remainder I’ll use to replace the valve, kitchen cabinets and paint. Though this was to be done late this year or early 2023, with how crazy things have been going I’ve decided to just take care of it. 

I went to my first white cost ceremony, it was absolutely beautiful, I'm so proud of my friend. She's been accepted to the anesthesiologist assistant program, keep her in prayer, I know this will be tough. 

Well, I paid the HOA and COBRA bills for three months. I paid two months on the mortgage because the website didn't update and I want to make sure my payments are applied to both June and July, before I pay August. 

I'm so glad I did this because I don't know what may happen as far as income goes. 

I also purchased a used refrigerator for $214 with tax. Thankfully my ex will pick it up for me, so there is no delivery charge. Though it's not the color I was looking for I'm glad I was able to get a good used one. 

I got the news that the payment for my settlement was received, after legal fees I'm expecting about $8500. I'm just going to save this money. 

I also saved a total of $433.27, I rounded up to the nearest $50 for all my savings account. I'm a big believer of putting something up, no matter how small for rainy days. So, I wanted to make sure I socked away something since money will be right. I'll update my sidebar later. 

Lastly, in regards to finances, I have about 310 euros left and will exchange those tomorrow for US dollars, I checked and it will be $308.

In nonfinancial news, one of the travelers I went on the trip with, admitted that the trip was poorly planned and that he too was very disappointed. I was really surprised because I thought it was just me. He stated that there were quite a few days that he was very upset with us not spending any time at some location visited and also that we had too many things planned for one day. 

That's it for now. 

I decided to pay three months of mortgage, HOA, and COBRA. After my conversation with the TPA yesterday, he informed me that it appears as though my contract will be ending. I was really hoping to have paid off my third student loan by June but looks like this won't be happening. 

I'm so bumbed by this. I really wanted this loan gone by June. I feel I worked so hard to have come to halt. I know should be thankful for what I have paid off so far, and I am but I am still hurt by this. 

I’m so thankful for the opportunity to have had traveled abroad, though the trip was not what I expected, to say I've been to Greece is a plus.  

After traveling for 23-hours, I can say I finally made it home. After a review of things, I found that I am at fault, rather than relying on others to plan the trip, I should have been more involved in the planning,  asked a ton of questions, and shared my expectations. 

What I learned was that you can’t travel with everyone, including friends. One traveler was solely traveling for social media likes so we would get to a location after traveling for hours only to spend thirty minutes for a photo-op, while the other was so “cheap” and inconsiderate of time, that the trip ended up costing way more than I anticipated/budgeted (penny wise pound foolish).

Things were so poorly plan; for example, I didn’t get the itinerary, that I asked for multiple times, until the day before (couldn’t make heads or tails of it once received),  there was only one key to the places we were staying so it forced us in many cases to travel together, also transportation wasn’t figured out prior to the trip, so we wasted a ton of time trying to get transportation. At one point we couldn’t even get a rental car. 

 I take responsibility in this, I assumed because I had no experience traveling internationally and they did, that things would be great, and that a plan would be set in motion.  You don’t have to have travel abroad to plan things accordingly. Lesson learned. 

My next trip is to the islands, this one is with family. Lodging and transportation are already arranged. The good thing is, if I want to go off and do things on my own I can. I’m actually planning my days and the things I want to do and see. I found a local driver, at a reasonable cost through a travel group, identified things I want to see and made a list. I’ll be mapping things out, so I can get a clear picture of how long it will take to commute to significant sites and estimate costs. 

Now it’s time to tackle my finances. As I mentioned in an earlier post, the person that I was working with,  my biggest contract, is no longer with the organization, so I’m not sure where things are. I have a call tomorrow to touch bases with the TPA who got me the gig. Fingers crossed because I was relying on this to pay off student loan number three(3), now I’m going to pause the extra payments until I get definite answers and a feel of how things will go. 

Because of this, I decided to pay June and July’s mortgage, HOA, and  COBRA. Though I have a great deal of savings, I don’t like to touch it, and I only want to in case of a real emergency like no money coming in, and since I have the money to pay these things (I received my last contract payment before I left), I am. You never know. 

The good news is, a former client reached out to me to work on a project for a few weeks. We are scheduled to chat some time this week. This should bring in about $2-4k a month. I’ll throw a little at the student loan but I won’t be as aggressive. I’m just thankful for income. It seems like God is always one step ahead of me. 

That’s it so far, I’ll update my expenses and share over the next few days. 

 I honestly cannot wait to go home. Today we fly out at midnight, then there is a eight-hour delay, smh. I had no idea this guy booked a return flight with an eight hour delay. I was reading one hour, but clearly I was wrong. He is so cheap, this  is not being frugal. In my opinion cheap is when one is a penny wise and a pound foolish. 

Yesterday  we went to a shopping area and was to meet up in a hour. Well, guess what they were almost one hour late returning. I started to catch a cab but didn't because I didn't have a key to get into the Airbnb. 

There were some good days; however for the most part I've been ready to go. The way things were set up I actually spent more than I had budgeted and spent a tremendous amount of time wasting time. We wasted a ton of time, having been here for 18 days, it's ridiculous. On average we spent 5-6 hours just commuting 

Now I see why a friend of mine travels alone. I think I'm going to do this. 

Long post alert! 

Whew, I’m still on vacation and I’m so looking forward to going home. 

This trip started out very rocky, but is ending pretty good. One thing I’ve learned is to be mindful of who you travel with. 

First, I’d asked the group for our itinerary, multiple times. The people I am traveling with are international travelers so I trusted their judgment. Long story short, I didn’t receive the itinerary until the day before we left and couldn’t make heads or tails of it. So I decided to go with the flow. First sign this would be a mess. 

Next, we were scheduled to leave for the airport at a certain time but left late. I hate rushing but okay. 

We landed but had no transportation to our Airbnb. My second clue was that this would be a mess. It was late and one of the travelers was attempting to barter with a taxi, in the cold late at night mind you, over 7 euros that would have been split 3 ways, for a total of 2.33 Euros. The taxi ended up leaving us and taking someone else, he found one that was the seven euros less than he wanted to pay. 

The next issue, as we couldn't get into the Airbnb, when we finally did the place was filthy, but I made it work since we were only there a few days. 

On day one, after a 16-hour flight and no rest, the group decided to tour. So I went along because of the way things were set up, if they locked the door, there was no way for me to get out or turn on the lights. Fire hazard, 🙄 I had no choice but to go. 

We had no car so we walked everywhere for hours. My legs became extremely sore to the point I thought I was going to have to go to the ER. I texted my niece who is in health care and she told me to put on my compression socks. That made a huge difference, but I was still sore. Long story short, the group could care less about my legs and wanted to walk 40 minutes to catch a $12 bus to take us two hours away because paying a cab about 100 euros, which would be split was too much. Thank goodness it was too late to take the trip. 

There's a second piece to this but too much to type. 

Needless to say, we left that location and headed to the next. I decided to hire a personal driver for a few hours since my legs were still somewhat sore. I'm glad I did. I got to see so much vs had I been walking with them. 

To wrap things up, we spent more time in vehicles (e.g. Cars, cabs, ferries) than touring, seeing the area. I feel like I missed so much. One day we visited two sites for a total of two hours, about one each but we spent a total of 8 hours on the road. I'll make another post about this later. 

Financial news 

While on vacation I got word that the HR manager who wanted to hire me full-time is no longer with the company. I'm nervous because I make about 8k a month with them. Fingers crossed that this contract doesn't end. 

So for now, I'm going to slow down on my student loan payments. I'll still pay extra but the kit is aggressive. 

I picked up another contract for about 2-3k a month but this will cover my everyday bills. 

I had booked my trip to Turks & Caicos already so too late to cancel. The total for that trip is $1000. I'm traveling with my family so no drama there

I have no idea what triggered my ex but he broke down and told me he has to get his life together. He has a client, a few who are millionaires, who want to help him and he finally spoke with one today. He said he’s tired of living the way he is living. 

For starters he need to focus on him and not the mother, in my opinion. The mother keeps him in a financial black hole. I’m not saying not to help mom; however, he’s not in a financial position to do so at this time and parents shouldn’t live a reckless life with the intent that it’s their kids responsibility to take care of them. 

I think it hit home because I’m trucking along, much better mind you, without him. I think this trip I’m taking and his inability to do the same is nudging at him, not mention him being sick and no money saved. Either way what ever the cause, I’m glad he’s finally realized he has to get his life together. 

I’m not saying that I’m the queen of doing right financially but at least I’m willing to try. All I ever asked is that he tried. 

Hi all!

its been a while, hope all is well. I have a question regarding the stimulus check.  

I help support my mom, so I file her on my taxes as a dependent. She gets social security benefits, retired, Will she get a stimulus check?